Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

[Angélique]

I've heard Bette Davis knocked them down by accident when looking too intense at them, that was back in 1936 . . . .

According to Gabrielle's (Bette Davis') mother some men become dull in Arizona after a while... ‘‘ Gabrielle's mother, a French war bride who fell in love with Jason when he was a young, handsome American serviceman, left her "dull defeated man" after the war and moved back to France when Gabrielle was a baby. ’’

 

[Tiny Turnip]

Gosh! Its a very long time since I saw the Kim Carnes video!

Seems to me it must have been an early inspiration for this young upstart:

But for me, this remains the defining cover version of the song:

Incidentally, try searching you tube for 'bad romance the Sims' and scrolling through the pages and pages of results. It's a testament to the influence of that video, the power of the internet, and the endless creativity of humans...

 

[Angélique]

The line in the song about Bette's eyes ‘‘ Her hair is Harlow gold ’’ refers to Jean Harlow, from the time Hell's Angels were still flying (1930) . . .

‘‘ This WW II B-17F, tail number 41-24577, was named Hell's Angels after the 1930 movie about WW I fighter pilots. ’’

( Hells Angels MC was founded 1948 )​

Here's Gaga made up as a visitor of a festival, but without the usual computer restyling, don't see Bette Davis eyes there . . .

(large)​

 

[Angélique]

Flying Fortress​

‘‘ Hell's Kitchen – B-17F 41-24392 one of only three early B-17F's in the 414th Bomb Squadron to complete more than 100 combat missions. ’’

 

[hoytedow]

Among other well knowns of that film, Leslie Howard went on to make The First of the Few: The First of the Few : British Aviation Pictures : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive https://archive.org/details/TheFirstOfTheFew.

 

[Angélique]

Thanks Hoyt, due to the 1:53:45 I'll have to save watching it till around Xmas, but it looks great enough to do so . . - (spare link French subtitled)

It says it was released in the U.S. as Spitfire, with Leslie Howard as producer and director, and in the role of R. J. Mitchell....

Since this is the boat jokes thread, a U-boat crew fished up from a rubber dinghy comes in . . . .

Dad's Army – The Deadly Attachment​

(spare link, and one with Dutch subtitles)​

 

[Angélique]

At some recent boatdesign.net funnel talk the above car came up, so I've looked if there were other options . . .

big rig exhausts​

real funnel exhaust​

organ exhaust​

big horn exhaust​

turbine exhausts​

spaghetti exhausts​

Hey this is no joke, the first link is mostly about boats !​

 

[Angélique]

Clearly Bette Davis eyes (Dutch link)​

 

[SamSam]

 

[Angélique]

At first I thought that was a made up piece, but then it turned out to be for real, the article is about Blair Robertson and Eddie Diijon, both claim to be psychic about anything but their personal life, so they can be trusted by anyone but themselves, now that's hilarious . . .

Note, not in Arizona, the ABC15 Arizona news channel picked up that piece about Blair Robertson who is from Arizona, the incident itself occurred in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, Canada (US border), on June 2th 2017...

June 2, 2017 - Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ont. Canada, at Silk’s Country Kitchen - the Toronto Sun

 

[Angélique]

Well, there ain't much like reality, those two psychics were sitting right in front of the sign ‘‘Drive Thru Window’’, so who on earth couldn't have seen that coming . . .

Google Street View of the spot where it all happened . .
- zoom in to the left and you see the sign ‘‘Drive Thru Window’’
- zoom in to right and you see the venue ‘‘Silk's Country Kitchen’’

 

[SamSam]

.
Canadian GoFundMe Raises $6B In Two Hours To Pay For Privacy Hedge Along Entire US Border

Canadian GoFundMe Raises $6B In Two Hours To Pay For Privacy Hedge Along Entire US Border https://outabouter.com/2018/12/21/canadian-gofundme-raises-6b-in-two-hours-to-pay-for-privacy-hedge-along-entire-us-border-2/

Paul Duncan https://outabouter.com/author/outandabouter/

 

[Angélique]

The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.

The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a small child stood up. She started walking slowly towards the minister in silence.

The congregation was aghast - you could almost hear a pin drop. ( a pregnant pause…)

The groom's jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child.

Chaos ensued…

The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying.

Then the groom's mother fainted.

The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation.

The minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward ? What do you have to say ?"

There was absolute silence in the church.

The woman replied, "We can't hear you in the back."

And that illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent.

The prejudices are certainly food for thought.

Besides that, I've been forced to go to church throughout my childhood, and never I've heard a Minister ask ‘‘can you hear me in the back’’ that's no joke.

 

[Rurudyne]

A man walked into a crowded bar and yelled out: "This is my 1911 Colt 45 with one in the chamber and seven ready to go! I want to know which of you low lifes has been sleeping with my wife!"

From the back of the bar a waitress shouted: "Put that thing away, George, you're gonna need lots more ammo than that!"

 

[Rurudyne]

On a long flight Richard Dawkins found himself sitting next to an old cowboy reading the Bible.

“You know,” he said, “conversations help flights go faster.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” the cowboy said as he set the book down, “What do you have in mind?”

“Well. We could talk about evolution and how it demonstrates there’s no need for God.” Dawkins said smugly.

Without missing a beat the cowboy said: “Sure. But first, Mr Dawkins, could you answer something for me? You see, cows, horses and deer all eat the same sort of stuff but what comes out is very different. Cows make pads, horses clumps and deer pellets. So what is the evolutionary benefit for each style of poop?”

Dawkins was a bit astonished that the man had recognized him and a bit put off by an actual nuanced question so he thought for a moment before admitting he didn’t really know what the advantages were.

“So what you’re telling me is, you can talk about God but can’t explain crap?”

And with that the cowboy went back to reading.