This subject is well covered in a number of locations, but there are some misconceptions.
Your finish failure should be examined to determine why it failed, rather then just having someone put more of the same back on it.
Typically, most stains now are not just stain, but also a sealer, which can dramatically defeat the ability of a finish coating to get a good grip on the wood. The finish grips the stain instead and is solely dependent on the stain's ability to grip the wood, which is questionable at best in most cases.
If you want a finish to stay stuck, you need much better control over it's application. Most furniture builders haven't the foggiest idea how to achieve this, in a marine or severe exterior environment.
Even if they sand down the frames, the pores of the wood will likely still be sealed with a crappy, water based stain/sealer. The first thing you need to do, is find out what products(s) specifically they've used and if these are well rated for your application (doesn't sound like it). Then you can make a reasonable assessment about which path you'd like to take.
As far as clear finishes on wood, you have several choices, from a very traditional but not very durable oil to a very hard, man made linear polyurethanes, which is quite durable. Each has it's own good and bad points to consider, so gather up the product information and get back to us.
I have no issue with the urethane, but they need to be applied properly and maintained or it'll be the devil to pay if it's "gone too far". The more traditional alkyd varnishes, are far easier to repair if necessary, but aren't as durable as the harder LPU's. The Dutch oils are a joke in regard to durability, but are very easy to apply and keep up, though you will not get a sheen, regardless of how much you use.
Tung oil (the main ingredient in Dutch oil) is a much better choice then the more common linseed, which blackens with time and UV exposure. Again, these oil finishes don't really protect the wood very well. The wood will still burn and "move" from environmental changes (humidity), which in a lot of things isn't good (joints open, wood splits, etc.). Scrubbing with a brush, just makes a wash board out of most woods, as the brush removes the burned softer wood, leaving the hard winter growth rings standing proud.
From a technical stand point there's a huge difference between marine spar urethane and spar varnish. Urethanes are harder, glossier and more durable, especially if a true LPU. They are also hard to apply well, especially if a WR-LPU and can often be too hard and brittle for some hardwoods, as Brian's experiences suggested. Spar varnish, is typical a real alkyd varnish, usually with modifiers and UV inhibitors added.
As a rule the word "varnish" no longer means an alkyd, but is representative of all clear finishes, no matter what it's made from. This is likely why your hardware store guy is saying what he is.
Again find out what they're using on your frames and post the brand and product name, so we can know precisely what you're dealing with. Given the previous attempt by your supplier, I'd be very hesitant about sending it back for them to screw it up again, but that could just be me.