SEATTLE, WASHINGTON
1989
In a back corner of a well-groomed suburban park, a quiet, almost imperceptible hum increased slowly in both pitch and volume, rising at an increasing rate to a grating high-pitched screech, then suddenly EXPLODED with a blinding flash of light, as a large, humanoid piece of machinery materialized in mid-air, horizontal to the sidewalk, at an elevation of one or two meters. With a loud "CLANK!", the MacStinko 26X rowbot fell and landed on the concrete walkway, a few small parts falling off and clattering away. Apparently, the space-time coordinates had been slightly misprogrammed in the Time Transport Portal. Thanks to the rowbot's rotund shape and thick, dense cranial cover, however, most internal mechanisms remained nominally functional.
About an hour later, after ten or so unsuccessful attempts, the rowbot was finally able to right itself back onto its foot-pods and head toward town. However, on its way out of the park, it was confronted by a group of surly high-school boys on their way home from a rousing game of baseball.
Seeing its path blocked, the MacStinko 26X came to a stop and stood in front of the teenagers, swaying slowly from side to side due to a stabilization system that had been installed in the main body cavity, instead of the lower appendages where it should have been. In a moment of self-congradulatory vanity, Dr. Frankenghetto had inscribed his name on the breastplate of the MacStinko 26X for the benefit of posterity. Seeing this inscription, one of the boys exclaimed, "Hey look! It's Frankenghetto! Look guys! It's our new buddy Frankenghetto!"
Much enamored with their new friend, one of the not-quite-law-abiding youngsters asked Frankenghetto, "Are you a BOOB?" Of course, the MacStinko 26X is pre-programmed with information regarding its construction, including the Battery-Operated Optical Brain that controls its every action. Frankenghetto answered, "Yes." The boys laughed hysterically! After gleefully beating Frankenghetto on the head with their baseball bats, they went on their way, leaving him to pick himself up after tipping over again.
After thirty minutes or so, the rowbot managed to right himself again and continued toward his destination.
* * *
Through the waning years of the twentieth century, Frankenghetto attempted to sabotage the sailing industry any way he could, knowing all the while that his mission was not yet accomplished. He made an effort to infiltrate the sailing community, but unfortunately the MacStinko 26X was constructed with the less expensive Zipco neural network. This product was discovered in the year 2055 to be lacking some basic computational circuitry, that was required by law and necessary for such activities as walking upright without crashing into walls and other large objects. Needless to say, Zipco was bankrupt by 2056.
Once situated on his new motor-sailboat, Frankenghetto found himself unable to discern what to do with the long rope that was attached to a large piece of cloth suspended in the air by aluminum poles. He was equally perplexed by the horizontal stern-mounted stick that kept knocking him overboard whenever he tripped over it. He therefore offered to crew on other boats in the hopes of converting other sailors away from their trade.
Crews welcomed the rowbot with open arms, but soon found that he tended to get himself entangled by lines when attempting to tie knots in them, and tied them so tightly that it was difficult for the crew to extract him once ensnared. However, in its last-ditch attempt to prevent the rowbot from falling over, Rowbots-R-Us had installed a water-tank stabilization system in the MacStinko 26X. Due to the excessive weight of this system, the crews found Frankenghetto to function splendidly as ballast, or as the crew liked to call him, "rail iron".
The boats lost several races when Frankenghetto fell overboard due to the high center of gravity of the Rowbots-R-Us stabilization system. But they finally hit on the winning strategy of welding a hook to the top of the rowbot's BOOB and hanging him off the windward rail. Frankenghetto made many new friends and was instrumental in achieving an impressive series of regatta victories. Some competitors contested these victories, claiming that class rules prohibited the use of artificial power sources in a sailing race. But Frankenghetto was undeterred, and his crewmates appreciated the way the air spaces in his BOOB served as flotation when submerged.
Installment 1 of this report may be viewed here:
http://boatdesign.net/forums/showthread.php?p=35614#post35614
1989
In a back corner of a well-groomed suburban park, a quiet, almost imperceptible hum increased slowly in both pitch and volume, rising at an increasing rate to a grating high-pitched screech, then suddenly EXPLODED with a blinding flash of light, as a large, humanoid piece of machinery materialized in mid-air, horizontal to the sidewalk, at an elevation of one or two meters. With a loud "CLANK!", the MacStinko 26X rowbot fell and landed on the concrete walkway, a few small parts falling off and clattering away. Apparently, the space-time coordinates had been slightly misprogrammed in the Time Transport Portal. Thanks to the rowbot's rotund shape and thick, dense cranial cover, however, most internal mechanisms remained nominally functional.
About an hour later, after ten or so unsuccessful attempts, the rowbot was finally able to right itself back onto its foot-pods and head toward town. However, on its way out of the park, it was confronted by a group of surly high-school boys on their way home from a rousing game of baseball.
Seeing its path blocked, the MacStinko 26X came to a stop and stood in front of the teenagers, swaying slowly from side to side due to a stabilization system that had been installed in the main body cavity, instead of the lower appendages where it should have been. In a moment of self-congradulatory vanity, Dr. Frankenghetto had inscribed his name on the breastplate of the MacStinko 26X for the benefit of posterity. Seeing this inscription, one of the boys exclaimed, "Hey look! It's Frankenghetto! Look guys! It's our new buddy Frankenghetto!"
Much enamored with their new friend, one of the not-quite-law-abiding youngsters asked Frankenghetto, "Are you a BOOB?" Of course, the MacStinko 26X is pre-programmed with information regarding its construction, including the Battery-Operated Optical Brain that controls its every action. Frankenghetto answered, "Yes." The boys laughed hysterically! After gleefully beating Frankenghetto on the head with their baseball bats, they went on their way, leaving him to pick himself up after tipping over again.
After thirty minutes or so, the rowbot managed to right himself again and continued toward his destination.
* * *
Through the waning years of the twentieth century, Frankenghetto attempted to sabotage the sailing industry any way he could, knowing all the while that his mission was not yet accomplished. He made an effort to infiltrate the sailing community, but unfortunately the MacStinko 26X was constructed with the less expensive Zipco neural network. This product was discovered in the year 2055 to be lacking some basic computational circuitry, that was required by law and necessary for such activities as walking upright without crashing into walls and other large objects. Needless to say, Zipco was bankrupt by 2056.
Once situated on his new motor-sailboat, Frankenghetto found himself unable to discern what to do with the long rope that was attached to a large piece of cloth suspended in the air by aluminum poles. He was equally perplexed by the horizontal stern-mounted stick that kept knocking him overboard whenever he tripped over it. He therefore offered to crew on other boats in the hopes of converting other sailors away from their trade.
Crews welcomed the rowbot with open arms, but soon found that he tended to get himself entangled by lines when attempting to tie knots in them, and tied them so tightly that it was difficult for the crew to extract him once ensnared. However, in its last-ditch attempt to prevent the rowbot from falling over, Rowbots-R-Us had installed a water-tank stabilization system in the MacStinko 26X. Due to the excessive weight of this system, the crews found Frankenghetto to function splendidly as ballast, or as the crew liked to call him, "rail iron".
The boats lost several races when Frankenghetto fell overboard due to the high center of gravity of the Rowbots-R-Us stabilization system. But they finally hit on the winning strategy of welding a hook to the top of the rowbot's BOOB and hanging him off the windward rail. Frankenghetto made many new friends and was instrumental in achieving an impressive series of regatta victories. Some competitors contested these victories, claiming that class rules prohibited the use of artificial power sources in a sailing race. But Frankenghetto was undeterred, and his crewmates appreciated the way the air spaces in his BOOB served as flotation when submerged.
Installment 1 of this report may be viewed here:
http://boatdesign.net/forums/showthread.php?p=35614#post35614
