Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    Look on the bright side . . .

    Surely in this enlightened age there's a market for elephant dung. Once the need has been demonstrated by research and advertising the carbon tax will easily be covered by the profits. Many square miles will then be dedicated to raising elephants, displacing the people and other creatures who once lived there, and vast tracts of once sustainable farming land will become comfortably devastated, forming a fitting monument to prosperity. Elephant dung - or brown gold as it will become known - will become such an essential part of everyday life in the developed nations that the consequential damages to the planet will have to be accepted as a regrettable but necessary cost of maintaining modern living standards. On the plus side, once elephant dung farming is centralized and properly organized side products like methane can be distributed to where it is needed so that it can be further processed by the most efficient means, via vast, ugly gaspipes all over the countryside. That is how modern marketing forces work - you just aren't using your imagination!
     
  2. masalai
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    masalai masalai

  3. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    Lawyer advert plums new depths!

    This is really in the spirit of reasonable settlement!
     

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  4. masalai
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    masalai masalai

    The disease must be spreading, as here a similar ad implies that they are good, and ensure she does not get the lot :eek: - - or, - - if he is tardy, help her get the lot...
     
  5. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    Wearing a ring on your finger is a sign of stupidity.

    Soo not funny--
    I did it, -- Ive done my 18 months but I only need a kick up the arse once to learn . Ive known men do it 3 times. THEN they have the gall to say to me --'Oh you are lucky living in the sun on a boat'

    Lucky!!! don't get me going.

    Its up to you,--- in the sun on a boat, or a wife and 3 screaming kids?

    I did'nt find It too difficult.
     
  6. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    The object of the marriage thing is to avoid having an ex, not to avoid having a wife . . .
     
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  7. hoytedow
    Joined: Sep 2009
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    Location: The Land of Lost Content

    hoytedow Fly on the Wall - Miss ddt yet?

    Hear, hear.
     
  8. troy2000
    Joined: Nov 2009
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    troy2000 Senior Member

    Don't like kids much, do you?

    Mine weren't famous for screaming. In fact, if I'd known how much fun they were going to be, I'd have started them twenty years earlier.
     
  9. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    A true boat joke for a change...

    Sorry, but I was asked to remove these articles.
     
  10. masalai
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: cruising, Australia

    masalai masalai

    OMG . . . :eek: :eek: :D :D :D
     
  11. Fanie
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    That's no problem Mas, really, we have unlimited money :(

    I was wondering if there was any country who would like to invade us ?
     
  12. powerabout
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    powerabout Senior Member

    Maybe the guys running SA are just trying to get economic equality with Zim so they can share the same currency
     
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  13. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    Not bloody far of there ! They don't have a perception of quality, if there is many (as in 1, 2, 3, many) they will take many instead, so devaluation is a bargain for them.

    One of my friends power tripped in a nearby neighbourhood. Not unusual, you just wait untill it goes back on, which it did, except eh eh eh philamon forgot to put the neutral back, so now the area's households all ran on 380V.

    Do you know how quickly a 230V freezer freeze when run from 380V ? That motor freezes in a few seconds flat, and the lights burn so bright you can't see them any more... :D

    It's these racist whites who made these things so we cannot understand them.
     
  14. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    LOL, I see an induction water heater advert, they claim, as a sales feature, that it uses only power while heating the water.

    Perhaps all adverts can say that.

    This car only consumes fuel when the engine is running.
    Ab so lutely must get one of those eh !
     

  15. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    After spending several hours wandering through the woods, Bob and Jim are thoroughly lost. Disoriented, they sit down to discuss what to do next.
    "Hey, I have an idea," says Bob. "If we each fire three shots into the air, someone will hear them and come to help us."
    So each of them fires three shots into the air. An hour later, nobody has come to help, so they decide to fire three more shots.
    Another hour passes - still no one.
    "Okay, let's try this one more time," says Bob.
    "Dude, this had better work," replies Jim. "These are our last arrows."
     
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