The best of the maritime tales...

Bergalia..so..long..I thought you are gone for good..I had known 3 scuba divers that had survived tsunami while in the water..but you are the only one who surf the wave with 800 ton boat..!

 

I got some good memories from New Zealand and Australia.
My first trip on a ship abroad. We was out for 6 week's doing survay on some caples running from New Zealand to Australia and when we got back we had not seen woman or beer for 6 long week's. I went to a bar and had som wiskey and some shots with sexual names on them befour my fellow motorman felt like going home to the boad because he's tired and drunk so I just stick with the captein and the chief officer and they take me to a bar and serve me som chetrack I think was the name and stupid me think it's wiskey and trow it in and that is when my face turn funny, it's some bloody 75 or 85% stuff the kiwis or ausis make and I had to rush to the toilet just in case it would come up.

Later on we went to a local place called the feathers in New Plymoth and I gues all old seamen can gues what kind off place it is and they had a freaking pit bull there.

Our captein offered them 700 kiwi dollar for that dog, despite the girls objections and try to offer him themself, He tur to me and say in Norwegian that that dog is the best looking creature in the whole place

We went back to the boat alone that night just like we left it earlier that evning, but at least we got some king alcohol to sleep on.

 

Lucky dog..ooo..thats scary man..hope you have a better choice in Taiwan..

 

StianM -

The longer you drink, the better looking they get. Had a friend who would go drinking with us -- but didn't drink. Asked him about it one day, and he told me the story. I won't mention where he was -- but he says after a night of drinking he woke up the next morning with a native girl -- and the only clean part on her body was the tit next to him. He never had another drink.

 

well you know the drinkers story - never been to bed with an ugly girl yet! woke up next to a few tho'; can't understand it!

 

The best of maritime tales...

I notice Walrus, that you are staying very quite about the time you woke to find yourself lying beside a huge, seven foot, one-eyed, bearded and heavily tatooed Scandanavian stoker, and in panic lifted your leg across him to make your escape only to be told: "No me son - I'm the bridesmaid....."

 

sorry for the delay hanes,,baottrucks for the oil fields are just that ,,,wheel house forward and flat deak astearn to carry supplys,,,these boats have 4 or 6 ,,,,,,1271detroits, they burn 100 gallons per hr, fuel is not there concern,speed is,evacuating oil field workers in a storm is job one, especially when choppers cant fly,,,,,,there were no suvivors,and you dont hear on the news about the oil rigs that dissapeer,,,,,,,,a sad moment in my life but life goes on,,,,longliner

 

One off my friends went to africa to work on a vesel there.

One off the guys there woke up next to a 50+ frican hocker with no teeth.
I runn trough the thin cardboard wall and did not care about the door at all.

He left in a hurry

Bergalia do you have anny stories from greenland since you ben up at the artic circle?

I heard alot off good stories from there.
One off my coworkers had two girls for one night paying them one tenpack off malboro.

Annything you would like to share?

 

I did not have to do that yet.

Only thing I had truble with was some red spotts showing up inside my thigh after a afair with a maori girl, but after a quick searching trough the medicine cabinet I found some cream that where suposed to kill fungus so I just take a chance and it hurt like hell, but I was ok after that.

I was scared I had to go to the doc. I hate the tought that a man is going to check me. Woman is the only I want to let playing with my tool's

To bad I was so drunk that night that I only remember hear ****.

I probartly had funn so who care.

The wost thing was when I woke up in hear bed and was to drunk to find out what was my underwear and what hear even the lights where on.
I had to toutch everything to find out if it was laced or not.

Would be embaresing to get undresed in my and the other motormans cabin and then it turn out that I wear a G-string

 

Hello all (nice to hear from you Bergailia too, if you can get a word in edgeways from Walrus that is),

I was in Troon harbour and had tied up just outside on the sea wall to pick up some passangers (it was either my Birchwood Iterceptor or my Cleopatra - can't remember which - the one with the fibreglass hull and the wooden skirt for planing purposes, twin inboard petrol engines) many years ago in the days when I liked engines rather than a sail (although I have grown out of that now ) and I had money as I was not married at this time.
I had my Colibri lighter in my top shirt pocket and low and behold it fell out as I bent over to tie the rope and the lighter ended up falling into the sea. Water was not too deep here so I could see it sitting there on the bottom shining as the sun glinted on it. It was a further two weeks later when I was there again at low tide and I begged an old weight from a fisherman friend off the lower edge of a trawling net which as you will be aware become magnatised with the constant dragging on the sea bed. I suspended the magnatised weight from a rope and managed to recover the lighter. I opened the lighter top and tried it and it lit the very first time. I was so impressed I wrote to Colibri telling them of this and they sent me back a nice letter along with a new top of the range lighter (much better than the one I had) and some accessories such as a leather case and such like. They used the letter in some publicity adverts with my permission.
Perhaps not a very exciting story but completely true none the less.

Paul.

 

I got a storry about a guy entering the mess onboard a trawler wearing a lump fish with the stomac cut wide oprn as a David Crocket hatt. He sitt down and help himself load on dinner to he's plate like everything is normal.

Amusing storry, but it's not mine.

 

The best of maritime tales

Trust me StianM, as an old trawler man I can assure you that was perfectly normal. Mind you if it had been a cod - that would have been weird.....

 

Found in the WWW

Sorry, Boatdesign forums' girls, but I've found this hilarious tale in the web and, risking to deserve a reprimand, I dare to post it here. I will not complain if you post something bizarre about men in revenge.

"Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John was married and Joe was single. The single brother, Joe, was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jones' wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sunk.

A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe, and mistaking him for John said:
"Oh, Mr Jones, I'm sorry to hear of your great loss. You must feel terrible."

Joe smiled and said: Well, I'm not a bit sorry! She was rather old from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up, and she smelled of dead fish. Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack, and a pretty big hole in her front, and that hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could handle her, but if anyone else used her, she leaked like anything. But what finished her was four guys from the other side of town. They came down looking for a good time and asked if I would lend her to them. I warned them she wasn't so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked. Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once, and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle.

Before he could finish, the old lady fainted."

 

Remind me off a old storry.
A guy lost he's wife at sea while fishing and they looked for hear for manny days and the 5 day they found hear and they got back to the port and told everybody that they found hear. When we found hear it was 5 crabs and 3 lobsters on hear!!!

Really!! the others say befour they asked where she is.

The guys in the boat reply that they tought she could stay in the ocean for a couple off more days