sailing round the world

Buy a boat, and invest in essentials, or less your kids will be adults before you leave.
From what ive seen, people spend several years on building large boats, your marriage will be over by the time your finnished with the boat.
Good luck. Bring your kids.

Eirik

 

thank you for all your replies i have really enjoyed reading each and everyone on the suggestion of some of you i have booked the whole family on a two weeks holiday in the med chartering a yacht for next year on our 15th wedding anniversary. The thing is i have not told my wife about it. it's going to be a surprise for her and the kids. i would loved to have done it this year however it seem they get book very quickly.

just a quick one about the trip splitting me and my wife up there is nothing in this world that would come between us we have been together thought think and thin together since we where 12 years old. i mean we've been bankrupt had our home burnt to the ground and even lost a child to cancer there is a nothing i wouldn't do for my wife and vice verser.

the reason for doing the trip is since my Alice our daughter passed 18 months ago i barred myself in my company working. it was until my youngest who is know 2 started talking to me that i realized how much of my children lives I've missed out on though my grief i know then that i needed to change our live for the better and we needed to spend more time as a family. for me there would be nothing better than the whole family exploring the world together my first thoughts was to buy a motorhome (which i think the Americans call them RVs but not to sure) and drive around the world the problem with this is that there would only be one driver namely me as my wife really can not drive we have tried to teach her but to no avail. thats when i thought about buying or building a yacht sailing around the world, i know my wife would pick up sailing very quick. and it's something we can learn together over the next two years as we plan the trip together.

 

There's a considerable difference between having to learn to sail and wanting to learn how to sail. This surprise forces this decision and though I'm sure your family will shoulder onward, I've found it's always best to have a voluntary, possably similarly excited crew than having the decision made previously, without crew participation.

 

Case in point;
I met a fella that was selling a Jason 35 he finished from a bare hull with the intent of sailing the world after retirement. He had, IIRC, scheduled and taken 15 years to do the project on weekends and evenings. The boat was well found and ready to go, all it needed was perishables and personal items.
His wife was supportive up to the point of casting off. Then came the ultimatum "Me or the boat."
I told him he made the right decision but now I'm not so sure.

 

What was the decision . . ? ?

You calling it right at the time it might have been the boat . . . .

If so, did he find a new mate or crew or did he took off single handed . . . ?

Cheers,
Angel

 

He was selling the boat.

My young kids were with me at the time and telling him he made the right decision was driven by my own standards, painting a picture of family unity for the kids and a lame attempt to sooth the sellers feelings.
Now I would have questioned his decision to live with such betrayal for the rest of his days.

Dunno what became of the seller or his boat.

 

I would have kept the boat. After putting that much time & effort into it without a word of complaint or protest (according to the tale told here) I'd consider a last minute ultimatum totally unacceptable just on the principle of the thing.

Deciding not to go along, fine, reality arrives and she can't face it, that happens. Forcing the sale, definitely not acceptable.

PDW

 

We can site examples in either direction of this discussion, but I've repeatably found that what we might think the other half enjoys, often is more akin to what the other half tolerates for our sake. Upon discovery, "but I thought you liked it" . . . followed by "I don't really, but knew you did, so . . ."

Minor issues in the big picture, but a lengthy trip as a surprise, certainly has me waving the appropriate flags. It's one thing to visit Rome for a few weeks, it's another to become a Roman for a year or two.

 

Seems I stumbled into the "relationship" counseling forum........

 

Chadwick on Hull...I would humbly advise instead of building I would take the kids to Disney and come down to the the Boating Capital of the World...Florida...There's a hundred things to do down here and a hundred good used boats or more down here in your size range I'd bet...no..definitely more...and it's a buyer's market...best of luck to you..

 

I have watched women abandon a yacht and a partner often. There are boats for sale around the world where she got tired of the voyage and flew home while he tries to sell the boat or gets friends to help take it home.

Boat builders are often fond of the dream, have a some experience but their female partners often have none, they get carried along by the tide of enthusiasm and dreams followed by a brutal realisation of what life aboard is really going to mean.

I think the more successful cruisers ease into the life over at least a few seasons sailing weekends and the occasional fortnight away from home and get to know the life , learn to work as a team and learn some seamanship together. Then people can get prepared for the psychological aspects of life on a small boat realistically understanding the challenges.

But I must say in my experience, the more people we have aboard for a passage the more fun it is and the less stress on interpersonal relationships.

The middle aged women who look for crew positions are good additions to the crew list, they are converts and they've often left a man and mature kids behind ashore. To have an experienced woman along as crew really helps a less experienced female partner adjust too and helps the power balance.

But don't expect to drag your partner out of her life jump into a boat together and expect it to work, it might but more often it doesn't.