Memorable Quotes

"paint me pink and stick batteries in my pocket,, then throw me,,hehehe "

 

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.
- Sir Francis Bacon
Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers.
- Jimmy Breslin
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
- Dorothy Parker
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
- Scott Adams

 

Thank you Jim (the usual no points available)? - - - still?

I must bring Scott Adams quote to task, as the creator is not restricted to base 10 counting - the interpretors of the "Bible" use base 10 but the values use 64 (a binary value), 144 - a "bakers"? value (12 dozen) "1 day is as 1000 years" (at 1024 rounded is binary, or a quantum leap beyond the capacity of "primitive mankind" to comprehend, (a very big number?), 144000 is also used and is a very unusual base line? so I have found binary, and shorthand variations (octal & hexadecimal) base 12 & variations of what ever ones mind can conjure up in determining "mysterious ways"...

 

If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.
- G. K. Chesterton
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
- Bruce Grocott
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
- Henny Youngman
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.
- Sir William Osler

 

"Playboy was founded on the notion that nice girls like sex too." Hugh Hefner

"Playboy exploits sex the way Sports Illustrated exploits sports." Hugh Hefner

"If there was going to be a sexual revolution, I would be its pamphleteer." Hugh Hefner

"We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition." Alex Comfort

"Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place." Billy Crystal

"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it." Richard P. Feynman

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for ************." Lily Tomlin

"This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators." Dick Vertleib

"I heard guys say they got into rock and roll to pick up women. I didn't get into rock to pick up women, but I sure adapted." Ted Nugent

"Mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step; for lasting passion is the dream of a harlot and from it we wake in despair." C.S. Lewis

"The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity." Ambrose Bierce

"Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no." Woody Allen

"I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's." Woody Allen

"Being with a woman never hurt no professional ball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in." Casey Stengel

"I stopped getting the girl about ten years ago. Which is just as well because I'd forgotten what I wanted her for." John Wayne

"Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns

"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman." Woody Allen

"Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!" George Bernard Shaw

"Sex is emotion in motion." Mae West

"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children." Mark Twain

 

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
- John Adams
Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.
- Calvin Trillin
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
- Tom Lehrer
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
- George Orwell

 

"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!"

Ben Bernanke

 

Still in denial? - - did you hear the boom of that recently spotted supernova? - - - If it is lost in the time-space wormhole it may never be heard of again.... except in the "ether of the internet" as everyone knows nothing much escapes from a black hole....

 

Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.
- Oscar Wilde
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
- Katharine Whitehorn
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
- Edgar Allan Poe
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei

 

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
- Abraham Lincoln
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.
- Stephen Leacock
There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.
- Arthur Honegger

 

I didn't really say everything I said.
- Yogi Berra
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
- John Ciardi
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
- Woody Allen
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
- Pancho Villa
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
- Jerry Seinfeld

 

To believe is to know you believe, and to know you believe is not to believe.
- Jean-Paul Sartre
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres
If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
- Peter Ustinov
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
- Jeannette Rankin

 

Exercise relieves stress. Nothing relieves exercise.
- Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
- Emo Phillips
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
- Charles M. Schulz

 

Whether or not you are a country music fan, this is truly the work of a deep thinker, and highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so profound. Words of wisdom from that famous philosopher Willie Nelson, on his 75th birthday:


'I have outlived my dick.'
hey Jim this be you soon,

 

hehehe ,, i think he's my illegitimate dad,,hehe
and Willie aint country,,, he's music!