I am the victim of everything

Turkey ? No, I'm just the sucker at the end of the smoke

 

Now here's a victim of a victim -

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender, clearly in trouble. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room"

 

Oh bloody hell, here's ANOTHER victim

A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots? What's wrong?"

"I found out my older brother is gay," replied the man.

The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. "What now?" asked the bartender.

"I found out my younger brother is gay," replied the man.

The night after that, the man walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka.

"Geez, does ANYBODY in your family like women?" asked the bartender.

The man replied, "Yeah, my wife does."

 

I just heard on the radio that a man in London has convinced the Lambeth council to place a noise abatement order on the Local Christian church.

A small congregation of 300 that worshiped on Sundays and sang Hymns of the usual variety.

Mohamed Judeen a nieghbour of the church says his daughter can not use the garden because of the noise.

Lambeth in London is a very Muslim place. Of course they have mosques and regularly give a call to prayer before dawn and dusk through an electric amplifier.

As the left wing and the skin heads along with others who want England back are threatening this sort of behavior with appropriate yet illegal action I feel My Judeen has made a mistake. A very serious one and might well be looking through travel brochures as I type.

A victim of catastrophic stupidity I would say. There is a moral there somewhere.

Your in London Gonzo --do you know Mr Judeen. hes the guy that ran past you with his suit case at the airport with ticket in his teeth.


On my last rip to England I noticed that there was no immigration when leaving (entering a different matter). After passing the check in I was directed straight into international lounge. I remember looking back with my passport in hand wondering what happened.

This has been confirmed by others leaving Uk.

See if it happens to you being American --unless you've decided to stay? There is a house for sale in Lambeth I believe,---just next to the Church!!

 

ya but they were three really tiny balls
so actually you should have gotten a discount

 

Wow, now I have more misery to claim in my life. I just give up

 

Victim Or Sponge...

Hello...
Being an eternal pamphlet spewing light for us all - or a politically correct victim who feels the need to educate us - is like being a change collecting sponge - soaking up the worst of the world looking for something to write or complain about to gain allies to stuff your backpack for your next go about - and then complaining when someone squishes your wet bile into the drain or toilet...
Very fragile way to live...
Once again - for shits and giggles - see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAVoQfoU0dQ ...
SH.

 

or said more tenderly
most of the stuff we think the world does to us
we actually do to ourselves

as for me
when I went broke
I sold off rather than take on any debt
I may not have much at the moment
but what I have is mine and I owe not one dime to anyone
Im working again and all in all
it was my own stupid fault I had to sell in the first place
makes me less likely to do it again
I say admit ones errors no mater how grim and learn from em
otherwise your destined to just screw it up over and over again

cheers and sunshine folks
B

 

damn

Tried to go sailing on my Sunfish, no damn wind! Next day I wanted to take out my wherry and get some time in at the oars, too damn windy! I am the victem of a HUGE conspiracy. Gonzo, you wouldn' know a real conspiracy if it came up and kicked you

 

My wife's favorite wine is,"Take me to Miami".

 

dam
thats one serious whine
you ever been to Miami

I say take that girl out and try and show her a good time mate
sounds like she needs it

 

Went to Miami 2 times since Oct. 2, 2008. I had eye surgery at Bascom-Palmer (retina and artificial lens with removal of silicone oil from the aqueous humor. We managed to have a good time anyway(got to practice speaking Spanish and French{Creole}). Dr. Smiddy is a renowned retinal specialist. We had a good view of Biscayne Bay from the hotel(Hilton on U.S. 1).

 

So, I guess I am a victim of retinopathy.

 

Retina or RECTAL specialist:?:

 

:!: