Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

During a heated debate between a father and his son the father shouted at his son -
'I had a better dad than what you would ever have !'

 

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

 

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.

Without them we wouldn't be here."

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"

 

One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends. She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees.

The boy says to the girl: "Go on climb that tree."

The girls climbs up and the boy just stands there and looks up to the girls pants.

After a while the girl goes home and tells her mum about what happened.

Her mum says: "oh my stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The next day she went out again with her skirt on and met THAT boy again.

He told her to climb again and she did.

when she got home she tells her mum what happened again and her mum says: "My stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The girl replied and said: "No actually I tricked him, this time i did not wear any pants!"

 

The Perfect Day - Her
8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

 

Man gets home very excited, tells the wife, pack your bags, I won the lotto !!

Wife wants to know where they're going... he replies I don't care where you're going as long as you're gone by tomorrow

 

Rastus Rastus watch out ! That fast passing train is going to suck you off the peron !

(Rastus) COME ON TRAIN !!

 

It's a quick building strategy

 

– and thus it was proven: Certain words inspire men.

 

Boat jokes

I didn't know pants could be removed.....

 

You must look really stupid in the shower

 

So, again, this "wind" has nothing to do with natural bodily functions?

 

You leave Coral out of this she is a nice lady? Errr, Trev was that possessive or plural? Coral likes fertilisation out of the body. Coral's friends are all girls.

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead *****.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

 

Nope. Not unless you have a weird fetish. Do you?

 

What's a fetish?