BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Re: post #6734 & 6735

    Pic of the area from tripadvisor (mouse over the photo on the linked page for thumbnails to more pics from the area)

    [​IMG]

    Side note, the great cormorants are used for fishing too, in the above case the cormorants might have been trained to drive fish into the net, like on otter fishing...


    [​IMG]
    Otter fisherman in Harbaria Sundarban National Park in Bangladesh —

    Next maybe some boat jokes . . ?
     
  2. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    One might observe that Mao was possibly "known" for many things in approved biographies.

    Maybe not to the extent of NK's KJU, mind you.

    BTW: beautiful pictures and countryside.
     
  3. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    As this is the Boat Jokes thread I've only picked his river boating on the 20 ¥uan note of the 2005 series for now, don't know if he was actually good at it in outside China approved biographies, and certainly didn't intend to write an approved biography here . . :)

    Future history will tell if NK's KJU beats his sad track record . . :(
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2019
  4. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    About the otter fisherman, I'd be worried about my toes . . :eek:
     
  5. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    BTW, the "Mao" suit was actually far before Mao's time introduced and worn by Sun Yat-sen, he was apparently not an over comb nor a Mao hairstyle type...

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2019
  6. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    BANG !!!

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop

    Clip - Clop


    AMISH drive-by......
     
  7. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Do Amish use guns ? - but I'm not sure if that was posted by Amish . . .

    But alas one of their horses is reported to be shot and killed in a drive-by . . :(

    — spare link, which comes from the same source —
     
  8. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    Homer learns about 912, the real emergency number...

     
  9. Jolly Amaranto
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    Jolly Amaranto Junior Member

    A young woman was piloting her speed boat through a crowded section of a river channel at high speed. A river policeman intercepted and forced her to stop. After pulling up along side, he got out his clip board to write up a citation. "What is your first name miss?" "Freda sir." "And your last name?" "Gomam sir." "Sooo.....You're Freda Gomam." "Thank you." She replied, as she speeds away.
     
  10. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    Engineering Question:

    Conditions:
    A backhoe weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowboy trailer and heading east on the Trans-Canada Highway in Alberta . The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

    Solve:
    When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half?
    (Assume no effect for head wind and no braking by the driver)

    P.S. The driver was on his cell phone...
     
  11. Blueknarr
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    Blueknarr Senior Member

    Follow up question;

    How many tie downs required to keep the backhoe on trailer?
     
  12. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    From some empirical testing, a full speed truck get you about halfway through...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Yes indeed, historical empirical testing has shown it needs to be tied down properly...

    [​IMG]

    But when they see it coming, they usually quickly remove the overpass...


    — for me sound only starts at about 0:41, and then stops at about 1:18, of 1:42 total video time —

    ‘‘ A 24-year-old overpass bridge in Nanchang, capital of east China's Jiangxi Province, was dismantled on Friday (Aug. 26, 2016) by 116 excavators to make way for the city's subway line. The job began at around 22:30 and the main body of the bridge was dismantled overnight. Thanks to the optimization of plan, the traffic was not affected. Residents praised the demolition as "highly efficient". ’’

    In addition to the empirical research, I'm naturally also interested in the real engineering answers . . !
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
  13. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    Somewhere there are pictures of boats that fared far less well than the overpass.
     
  14. philSweet
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    philSweet Senior Member

    When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half?

    Assumption 1. The rebar was made in China for a US or Canadian based supplier.

    Assumption 2. The excavator arm was made in China for a Chinese manufacturer.

    Conclusion - probably not very fast.

    My first job was working on the Mississippi River at a place called Featherlite Concrete in Memphis. I was the rebar bender guy. I ran about 6 operations on up to seven tons of rebar each night. We had a couple roller tables, but that was all. Everything hand carried. Putting hooks on 10' stirups meant swinging 98 pounds of steel rod 23 feet long end to end over your head. I weighed 120 pounds at the time and I did this all night long. We poured a lot of precast bridge beams and parking garage decks there, but that's a Cast In Place (CIP) multicell boxbeam bridge. Those are designed for post tensioning. So it's not so much the rebar, but the post tension tendons that got snagged. You can see the tendons and how they flensed the rebar off of the bottom of the bridge for ten feet or more before breaking or pulling out of their terminations. Repairing post tensioned structures sucks. This one's a do-over. I wonder how the driver's insurance company is feeling about buying Canada a new bridge.

    Here's a nice little (389 page) pfd on CIP box beam bridge construction with lots of good pictures, for anyone interested. Rebar photos on page 14 and 15. Now image some kid working alone all night in a shed for $1.25 an hour fabbing all that. I cost the company more in leather gloves than in wages.

    https://www.fhwa.dot.gov/bridge/concrete/hif15016.pdf
     

  15. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Thanks for the technical info Phil, 120 lbs that's remarkable !

    About skilled work in China, there's now (apr. 15, 2019 article) opposition against 9-9-6-plus.

    (the schedule of standard working from 9 am to 9 pm, 6 days a week, which is without the overtime of often up to 20 hours a week, and also often without getting paid for the overtime, since they get a salary for their standard work already, and overtime is considered to be a standard element of their job)

    But then remember the gloves of the rebar bender guy, the animals got nothing for their skin, don't know how to pay for that . . !
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
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