Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Besides, there are FAR worse things than pot, goof grief

 

No seriously...

 

Every day millions of innocent plants are murdered by vegetarians...

Have a nice mutton chop or steak and stop the violence NOW !

 

Happy Medium: a stoned spiritualist

 

Happy Thanksgiving: hoped for but not expected

 

University of Colorado prof, Cheryl Matis, says whiteness is a disease ... but she's kinda cute so I've got mixed feelings about this.

On the bright side, if it is a disease we should get "protected civil rights" status.

 

I know I got recently politely scolded for polysci... but this is choice!

Seems some folks out in California are trying to advance a ballot initiative to require State legislators to wear the logos of their top 10 donors.

Apparently it's been suggested that if it's good enough for NASCAR jumpsuits then why not government?

 

My friend told me her husband had bought her one of those big ol' mood rings so he could tell how she was feeling.

I had to inquire how it was working out - she told me it worked great!

When she is in a good mood it turns green and all is well, when she is in a bad mood it leaves a big ol' red mark on his forehead.

 

Letter to George Bush (POTUS 43):
After numerous rounds of 'We don't know if Osama is still alive,' Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of a coded message.

370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad. Eventually they asked Indian Intelligence (CBI) for help. Within a minute, CBI emailed the White House with this reply: 'Tell the President he's holding the message upside down.' . . .

 

Like the treasure in a It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Jeb's chances are buried beneath a big W....

 

The one I like is the classic quote from GW - 'The French don't have a word for Entrepreneur........'

 

Why do they bury lawyers 20' under when it's 6' for everyone else?

Because deep down they're good people.

 

They've built a camera with such a quick shutter speed that it's now possible to take a pic of a woman with her mouth shut.

 

Yeah, but it's still blurry . . .

 

Needs a faster Shut Her.

Poida