Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Good luck finding any gold or silver coins these days, 50 years after LBJ invented sandwich coins.

 

If the Earth were the size of a billiard ball it would smell like feet.

 

Since it's LBJ ... whom few really love ... have you ever heard it said that under LBJ they started spending what had accumulated under Social Security? Also that this lasted till it was fully depleted during Reagan's first term?

The problem with that is that from the very beginning of Social Security any monies not paid out in benefits were turned over to Congress to spend, the federal issuing bonds to itself to cover the monies spent. So there were "bonds" that appeared to be assets exactly offset by "obligations " on another set of books ... which you might think of as your right hand borrowing money from your left hand and your left hand holding a bond given it by the right and then trying to claim that is an "asset".

So there was no actual assets for LBJ actually start spending.

But he did. And more bonds to represent a promise to repay were apparently issued by the federal to the federal.

As economically perverse as it may seem, I think we could then say that he spent the money already spent a second time. Though really it would be more accurate to say that they were printing money on the sly.

It may just be a coincidence that inflation began to pick up once this started and ease once the double dipping stopped....

 

I thought this was a joke thread, not a polysty thread.

 

Sorry. Sometimes I can't help myself.

Sadly the only joke I've got today is visual: about why one armed fishermen are at a disadvantage because they can only catch a fish "This big!" (Extend one arm wide ... the visual part of the joke that goes here) ... I.e. they can't bragg as well as a two armed fisherman.

 

Funny you should say that, I've recently found some US half dollars from around 1917 which actually do have silver in them.....
My grandfather must have brought them with him on his way east from escaping the Russian revolution of 1917, via Vladivostok, the US and back to the UK.

Hope Yelland does not call them in, to pay off the US debt....

 

"It just jumped right out in front of me!"

http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/23/europ...ash-cargo-ship0312PMStoryLink&linkId=18970561

okay, so the pickled pilot probably picked a preferable plea.

Lots of pictures of boats of beaches in this thread ... I wonder how many he was steering?

 

Did you hear about the midget spiritualist bankrobber they're searching for?

It's a small medium at large.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k96SRT_q5gY

 

Just to keep you up with current crimes.

Two men robbed a jewellery store. One of the men was described as very tall and the other very short. The police are now believed to be looking high and low for them.

50 wigs were stolen from a hairdresser. The police said they haven't found the thieves yet, but they are combing the area.

Meanwhile 100 cartons of cigarettes and 20 kilos of carrots were stolen from a supermarket. A police profiler has taken all the evidence and described the most likely type of criminal responsible would be a rabbit with a bad cough.

Added to this all of the toilet seats were stolen from the local police station. The police admit they are not likely to catch the criminals as they have nothing to go on.

Poida

 

True story from the detective who brought the film into my photolab back in the day:

A man's home had been robbed and he'd called the police. The detective is question was finishing up taking his statement and asked if there was anything else missing.

The man thought about it and then said that they got his stash.

Keeping a straight face the detective asked: "Your stash? How much was taken?"

The man told him how much and said it had been "in my spare bong."

"I see, what did that look like?"

Whereupon the man produced his main bong and said it looked just like it.

... and then he was presumably read his rights....

 

Stuff like that really does happen.

A few years ago I'd just gotten out of work and went to get some $ from the ATM. When I pulled up to put my card in I saw a wallet sitting on the top so I grabbed it to check for ID ect. Just a couple of ones, a money card, and some ID was in it so I took it to the cops. They got my info and after smelling the wallet he said it had pot in it. I didn't look that close so I was surprised at this. He handed it back to me and I gagged when I took a good whiff.

I waited the 30 days to claim it in case the idiot didn't come for it, but he did. I talked to one of the cops and he said they new him, called him to say his wallet was found, and then arrested him when he came to claim it. I had a good laugh over how stupid this guy was to come for his pot that was in the wallet.

 

Nice old add there Angelique, the motor may be quiet, but looking at them eyes that girl is NOT going to be so quiet

The problem with most of the frauds forced on people to participate in is quickly adapted to become common law... that is why they will attempt to drag many criminal activities out as long as they can, so it would become common law. Common law is what societies accept to live under or by. If you hang enough criminals it becomes common law too. "But your honour, it's common law in America to hang criminals, we've been doing it for two weeks, it's part of our society..."

 

A teaspoon of water is not even going to get RHP's avatar's hair flat !


I just remembered about the guy who were landing his plane in quite a bit of wind, getting throwed around a lot.
When finally he made the landing, the plane skidded to a halt sideways.
The tower proceeded to crap him out because he didn't land as expected.
He replied by asking the tower what silly landing strip they had which is a mile wide and only a few feet long... What else did they expect !

 

Oh you took a good whiff eh ! I bet every one wanted a good whiff then
Read up on the stuff, it's not "banned" for the reason you think, it's banned for it's medicinal properties. Besides, it's a herb, not a weed.
Did you know that you will die if you drink too much water ? Well, if you overdo anything there is risk in it. Even too much boating got many into trouble.

Here, the Afrikaners in Cape Town discovered that they can make money from it
http://cannabisoil.capetown/23-shocking-health-benefits-of-marijuana/
"Keep in mind, though, that there are negative effects of smoking too much pot or using it for non-medicinal purposes. When overused or abused, pot can cause dependency and mess with your memory and emotions."
I know how they can get hair on their hands too...

http://www.tokeofthetown.com/2011/08/worth_repeating_cannabis_research_nears_tipping_po.php
Marijuana and Cannabis News Worth Repeating: 7 Cannabis Studies That Will Change Everything

LOL. You always get these arguments "yes but what if kids". What are you giving it to kids for ? Actually, it may not be so bad if they shrink their brains with it, they're not using it in any case.