Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. Leo Lazauskas
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    Leo Lazauskas Senior Member

    Two cows are wandering around a field. One turns to the other and says,
    "So, what do you make of the fuss about mad cow disease then?".
    The 2nd cow says "it doesn't really affect me mate, I'm a hovercraft".
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. Angélique
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

  3. Fanie
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

  4. Angélique
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Hmmm Fanie, you're east of Hoyt . . . . :eek:
     
  5. hoytedow
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    Location: Guess.

    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    By a lot! Haven't heard from you in a while, Fanie. I was beginning to think you fell into a warthog hole. ;)
     
  6. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    I ate a slug's cousin yesterday. Octopus. Grilled. Delicious.
     
  7. Fanie
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    You almost got it right.
    Actually, it was the warthog that fell as it went through a hole in the fence.
    We went hunting a while back and my friend's son shot a mother of a warthog, of around 75Kg's... Got skinned by a Boer, note the flag ;), and man, if you like snails you gotta love these critters...

    Did you know that warthogs doesn't have to drink water... ? They can sustain their moisture through their food. Can be very aggressive, not called the poor man's leopard for nothing. The large upper tusk is not the problem, the lower one is grind razor sharp on the upper. The owner of the cute looking pig lost a few big dogs who got fresh with this oke.
     

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  8. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    Yes, it looks delicious.
     
  9. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

  10. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    Who knows where Wormwood will hit? All we know is it will make a big mess with lots of casualties.
     
  11. AndySGray
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    AndySGray Senior Member

    I second that.

    Any special considerations when butchering?

    Was talking to a Farmer friend from the US and they have a major issue with wild boar, but they hunt them for control rather than meat - there are some problem endemic diseases and mostly they don't find their way to the table, which somehow seems a waste.
     
  12. brian eiland
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    brian eiland Senior Member

    1 person likes this.
  13. philSweet
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    Location: Beaufort, SC and H'ville, NC

    philSweet Senior Member

    Says who? There are eradication programs in the National Parks where hunting by the public is not allowed, but there are a lot taken for meat. You need a permit, and they are not an easy target in the wild, but many are baited year round. These things can get big - upwards of 400 pounds, and are of an unpleasant disposition, especially in packs (called sounders).

    from wiki -
    For anyone wondering how we ended up with Siberian Wild Boar -

    http://www.grahamcounty.net/hooperbald/hoopermcguire/hoopermcguire.htm

    and how to get rid of them -

    http://www.huntwildpig.com/state-specifics/north-carolina/

    It's worth mentioning that other boar varieties arrived with the Spanish as early as the 15th century. So there is a lot of hybridization as you move further away from Western NC.
     
  14. Barry
    Joined: Mar 2002
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    Barry Senior Member

    Men's Help Line



    HELP LINE: " Hello my name is Bob how can I help you?"


    Caller: " Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem.

    I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

    Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

    Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"
     

  15. Rurudyne
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    Location: North Texas

    Rurudyne Senior Member

    It depends on how big a motor is mounted, right? :)

    (great joke)
     
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