Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    Too true. Drunking your sit too long will peep your thinkle every time . . .
     
  2. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    Interesting..

    Did u know that:

    1. The pleasure of making love in the dark is 10 times stronger than when the lights are on?

    2. Taking a bath at same time with your partner increases your love by 20 times?




    Don't get excited. . .


    This is an advert by the Department of Water Affairs and Exkom to save water and electricity.
     
  3. baeckmo
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    baeckmo Hydrodynamics

    Sooo, a double bath in the dark approaching some kind of optimum then...? Any effect of skin color in the dark bath btw??
     
  4. rxcomposite
    Joined: Jan 2005
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    rxcomposite Senior Member

    THE DOCTOR AND HIS FERRARI

    A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

    An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, Sonny?"

    The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

    "That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

    "Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.

    The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

    "No problem," replies the doctor.

    So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right...but I'll stick with my Moped!"

    Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph.

    Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

    He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly:

    WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster!

    "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself.

    He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph.

    Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

    Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 210 mph. WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!

    He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

    Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 250 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again!

    The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!

    Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

    The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is alive.

    He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?"

    The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror."
     
  5. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

  6. rxcomposite
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    Location: Philippines

    rxcomposite Senior Member

  7. Olav
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    Olav naval architect

  8. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    'bout time somebody appreciated the effort I put in! Maybe now we can cut out the snarky remarks about only working one day a year . . . The Big S
     
    2 people like this.
  9. peter radclyffe
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    Location: europe

    peter radclyffe Senior Member

  10. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    Finally found out today how Canada was named. It seems the committee appointed to do the job could not agree so they decided to put the letters of the alphabet on cards, put them into a hat and draw them out one by one for inspiration. The first 3 letters were C, N and D. The guy doing the draw read each one.

    C, eh?
    N, eh?
    D, eh?

    - and thats's how Canada got its name.
     
  11. Bluegoose
    Joined: Jan 2014
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    Location: Tennessee

    Bluegoose Junior Member

    kids joke

    Where do fish keep their money?




    In the riverbank.

    Sorry for the dumb joke, but I neede 5 posts before I could PM someone. This got me to 5. Thanks.
     
  12. philSweet
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    philSweet Senior Member

  13. Redtick
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    Redtick Junior Member

    http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=9462416

     
  14. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    Obviously a fan of Monty Python and old enough to remember the crazy gang. There's some good in everyone! Enjoy exploring the universe, Walt. I'll be wanting a guided tour . . .
     

  15. hoytedow
    Joined: Sep 2009
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    Location: North of Cuba

    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

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