Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

That is sad. The other team should have forfeited .... they showed up unprepared.

 

Big Brother is watching and has a large database.

 

We had access to carbide lamps and cider jugs, cliffs with a creek and rocks, abandoned coal mines and it is a wonder to be alive today.

 

Reminds me, we waged school and went gold mine exploring in Bendigo Victoria and would cut down trees and throw them down the mine till we could climb down them into the mine, then we would explore the old shafts. Looking back we were so lucky we always got out.

 

And we are in IT ....

 

We're not getting his attention: let's rename the thread "bomb design" . . .

 

"We had access to carbide lamps and cider jugs, cliffs with a creek and rocks, abandoned coal mines and it is a wonder to be alive today"..........Darwin has a reason you are still here mate......Survival Of the Fittest.

 

http://snsimages.tribune.com/media/photo/2009-04/46608615.jpg


Funny.

 

At least one person is trying to stay on topic!

Keep up the funny stuff Hoyt, we need the humor.

wayne

 

This image of the cartoon is a bit easier to read

 

here's one that will keep you laughing

"Obama announced he will balance the budget in 3 years"

 

Took a while but now i get the joke.... .the soundest government in the world ?

Must be similar to the baseball World Series type of world

 

- that'll be in his 17th term of office . . .

 

A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in an Armani® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ... within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the Farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sam.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.

Then Sam says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Sam.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered Sam. "You came here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog."

 

Things that keep me awake at night - cont'd

Why do they put Braille on drive-thru bank machines?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Has there ever been a civil war?
Shouldn't hemorroids be called assteroids?
If man evolved from apes, how come we still have apes?