Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7ZrBCY9ipI

 

One game of 3 minute chess. The loser never looks at this forum again. What do you say, Troy?

 

I said I once met a chess hustler; I didn't say I was one. It would be idiotic of me to take you up on that, since I haven't played for years and have no idea what your skill level is.

And what would I do for amusement if you lost? I wouldn't have you around, carrying on about me and my rattlesnake brothers in the desert....

 

Why is a snake so smart?
Because you can't pull its leg!
-- Hannah Stafford

 

What happens when a snake gets mad?
It throws a hisssssy-fit!
-- Kevin Crace

 

Don't be an asphole.

 

Cuz I'm on a BOAT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iUjx4_X1qA&feature=player_embedded

 

About 1400 in 3 minute games - An average scrub. How about for a month break from the forum? I'm not asking for your trailer, for goodness sake!

 

Well, let's see. I assume you're talking about a blitz game, where each player has three minutes per move. There are probably thirty to forty moves in the average decent chess game...for each side. Even allowing for the time saved by routine or forced moves.... nope. Not giving you that much of my life in one big chunk.

In the first place, I'd be hard-put to schedule an uninterrupted game. I work 12 hour shifts, and the time I spend online there is interspersed between bouts of actually doing my job. When I get off, I barely have time to feed myself and have a couple of beers before toddling off to bed.

On my days off I drive home and spend the time catching up with the family and the honeydew list, and if I manage to squeeze in that much time to myself you can believe I spend it fishing or shooting instead....

As a matter of fact, I generally only have one full day to myself, out of every four weeks. I get off a set of graveyards on a Thursday morning, sleep half a day, get up and take care of business (that's usually when I schedule union meetings at work), then go to bed early that night to catch up on my sleep. When I get up on Friday morning I stay here instead of going home, because I have to be back at work Saturday morning.

That 'short-change' between shifts is coming up this Friday. I intend to head for Pretty Water or the Palo Verde Lagoon with the canoe my son and I just built, throw it in the water about daylight, and come back about dark. Hopefully with some fish....

But I do enjoy the game. Would you happen to be a member of itsyourturn.com? I haven't played there in a long time, but I suppose my membership is still valid (if I can remember my password). If not, I'll start a new one. It's a turn-based site, where you log on, make a move and wait for your opponent to log on and do the same. Kind of an internet version of postal chess, except that if you happen to catch each other online you can exchange a flurry of moves.

Games are usually played in pairs, with each player being white in one and black in the other. They also have ladders and tournaments. Ten or fifteen years ago before life got hectic, I spent a lot of time there.

If you'd like to play a few sets, let me know. It's time I brushed up on my game again anyway, to prepare for being a retired old fart in a few years.

 

No, three minutes per player for the entire game.

 

3 minutes per move? LMAO!

 

ndxhche

 

I don't consider that an accurate measure of chess skill; it's like a speed-shooting tournament instead of normal target shooting. For average players, it puts a premium on blindly memorized opening sequences, rather than the ability to analyze a board. And since I've never played it, I'd be even more foolish to make any sort of bets....

I'll repeat my offer of online games, though. Go to itsyourturn.com and create a free account; let me know your user name; and I'll invite you to a pair of games.

http://www.itsyourturn.com/

Since I'm assuming you're honest enough not to use a computer program, beating me there should give you the sort of bragging rights you're looking for....

 

WaAaAa Waa Waa Waa....


(darn its hard to make sounds sometimes...think the Good, The Bad and the Ugly)


Let us know who is still standing come sunset.

 

- I was thinking High Noon ...