Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Wisdom comes with age, being a mummy means i have a lot to offer !!!

My pira... err boat is under theoretical construction !!
And yah i believe in building boats honestly CANT WAIT .... darn those late plans MOVE IT ALREADY !

 

I'd rather go to hell than too heaven with some of the people that claim to be going there

 

A lot of people claim a lot of things .... Who knows who's going to end up where ?

-------
I really like this web site

 

not really

 

- you don't really expect us to believe that do you, Fanie?

 

I cant really believe fanies wants us to believe that either ..

 

During a visit to an old peoples' home, a visitor asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be a resident?

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

 

HAHAHAHAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOLZ !! one of the best jokes i heard in a long time
EPIC THX lol

ROFL

 

Do you read out loud?

 

I did for that one ... hence the loling ...

 

mom to son. what did your father say about the dents in the car.

son. should i leave out the swearing he asks.

mom. yes.

son. well. then he said nothing.

 

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=htt...alfords-launch-tourettes-sat-nav-190/&h=1a39c

 

YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN...


- When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

- Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

- You wake up, looking like your passport picture.

- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

- Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

- You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.

- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

- No one expects you to run into a burning building.

- Your joints are more accurate than the BBC Weather Forecast.

- In a hostage situation you're likely to be released first.

- You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

- Conversations with people your own age often turn into "ailment duelling."

- It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

- You wear black socks with sandals.

- Your ears are hairier than your head.

- You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it.

- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

 

An oldy but a goody. : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JuDpF_-6ko