Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

A mother skunk gave birth to twins, whom she named In and Out.

One day In was out, so she aked Out,"Out go out and find In, In's out and I want him in, I've been looking for In outside for ages, I can't find In, he is out so go out find In and bring him in."

"What?" said Out.

"In's out, so Out go out find In and bring him In, I've been looking for ages and can't find In, I want In in, Out go out and bring In in, if you can find him."

So Out goes out to look for his brother In, and within seconds of leaving, he comes back with In in tow, and his mother asks "Out, how did you find In so quickly?"..........................................................................................................................................................
........................


"In stinkt."

 

Once upon a time there was a wise and kindly King. In order to protect his subjects, he built a large wall completely around the palace and the town. Surrounding the wall was a deep moat with but one gate through the wall and a single bridge over the moat. Many years passed and the Kingdom and it's people prospered.
One day, however, there came to live under the bridge, the DREADED YELLOW FINGERS. This was an evil monster that would pluck unsuspecting persons from the bridge, and pull them below the waters of the moat never to be seen again.

A great fear came over the people, and the King ordered his knights to slay the DREADED YELLOW FINGERS. One by one they attempted to rid the kingdom of the menace, and one by one they were defeated. Soon the fields were overgrown, the flocks were running wild, and the food supply in the town had dwindled to almost nothing. In desperation the King offered the hand of his daughter to the one who could rid the town of the DREADED YELLOW FINGERS. More tried, and more were lost.

One day, a young Page boy came to the King and said that he would like to try. The King thought the boy foolish, and attempted to dissuade him, but the boy persisted. Finally the King gave in, and the boy walked out the gate. He crossed the bridge without a sign of the monster. He crossed back and forth several more times with the same result.

He presented himself to the King, and asked for the hand of the King's daughter. Overjoyed, the King assented but asked, "How were you able to do what many older and more experienced knights were not able to do? It was easy, the boy replied,

"JUST LET YOUR PAGES DO THE WALKING THROUGH THE YELLOW FINGERS."

 

OK, Hoytedow -- I hope I'm up to the challenge.

There was once a pet shop owner who carried a bird known as the Rarey. The Rarey had always been for display only, and not for sale -- but after receiving an offer hard to refuse, the owner sold the Rarey. The new owner was given advice to carefully monitor the birds eating habits.

The new owner found that bird ate everything, and had a voracious appetite. Within weeks the bird outgrew its cage, and within a few months, growing too large to fit through the doors, the new owner had to move it to the yard.

In short time, the bird grew too big for the yard. The owner hired a dump truck, coaxed the bird into the truck, drove it 200 miles to a far off bluff, and tipped the bird over the side.

Perplexed, the owner then went back and explained what he had done to the pet shop owner. The owner replied ...

THAT'S A LONG, LONG WAY TO TIP A RAREY.

 

I dont get it ... nor do did i get Hoyt's yellow finger ...

Ill just stick to less sophisticated humor ....

 

I'm not done yet (although I'm certain you wish I were ...)

On the island of Trinidad there was a nasty hermit who lived in the wild. The Trids had often tried to make peaceful relations with the hermit, who responded by kicking them and maintaining his domain. This went on for many years, and no Trid ever actually had a chance to make peace with the hermit.

One day a ship came to port carrying a Rabbi. The Rabbi heard the story of the hermit, and went out to explore. The Rabbi met the hermit, was invited to tea, and had a wonderful afternoon visiting with him. When the Rabbi departed, he asked the hermit a question --

"Why is it that the locals have never been able to communicate with you, you kick them and ask them to leave -- and yet you have been a perfect host when I came calling. Why is that?" The hermit replied --

"SILLY RABBI, KICKS ARE FOR TRIDS"

 

That just means you're culturally superior. There is nothing sophisticated in any of the jokes in this current string.

Hoyt started it

 

One needs to be familiar with the English / American culture and history to understand these.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It's_a_Long_Way_to_Tipperary

and

JUST LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING THROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES

Yellow pages you know I think.

 

then it has to be good, hoy is a whole hole after all

 

LOL !! now that was funny

Who knows maybe ill start cracking jokes in Arabic

 

Is that allowed?

 

OK, another boat joke:

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank.

This proves once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

 

It's all Greek to me.

 

Dont think so

 

I would simply refer to him as complete.

I've never met him, but that's how he strikes me.

 

only if we cant read it, it has to be written in Sanskrit on clay tablets