Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Always listen to the astute observations of the kids! They may know something U don't know

RULES OF MARRIAGE - as described by kids
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

3.. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids..
-- Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

-When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that
- Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then yo u should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - - Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is ..........

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck .. -- Ricky , age 10

 

was the message in the email something like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAVoQfoU0dQ (one of Seans' favourites) and one to send ......... when one is "not Happy"? but generally a good selection....

 

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers'.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him..

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

 

Actually, many of us didn't vote like we did, at least not that we knew of. Acorn voted for the big O using absentee ballots. Voter fraud was rife across the U.S. of A. Even the Mickey Mouse household voted for him. Did Mickey and Minnie ever marry? Who cares. Any way, we've been snookered.

 

They decide who's going to 'win' because they want to try different things to see if it works out.
Wait untill you get a gov like we have here... it's like an outer body experience. It's like you're alive but not living.

 

Mark, put 5 pics on a post, they'll fit in.


Look at this f joke. I bought this porridge but I'm not sure WTF it is. I followed the 'instructions' on the packet but it looks like a combination of cold lime glue and cement. They are so posessed with advertising themselves on the box that they forgot to tell you how much you should mix.

What a fuckup. Oh well, jus never buy it again and tell as many others as you can...

 

It doesn't say it's for human consumption so maybe I mistook it

 

More hot bulls milk and more sugar and more minced hot chillies (including the seeds).... THIS, http://www.usdebtclock.org/ is the biggest ******* joke ever....

 

Fanie I translated the "milie meel pap" via babelfish into english, then to Japanese, this was the result:

小麦粉PEPのmielie

you really think one can eat that???

 

Mielie pap is actually all right, you can eat it. Yes fish for carp with it as well.

They say a Free State (where Wynand lives) hamburger is slap pap (liquid pap) in between two slices of stywe pap (stiff pap).

 

I´m deeply impressed Fanie.

What impresses me more than the fact that you consume "pap" is the statement that you "live" where you live (at least poor old Wynand). As far as I understood, you can exist there, but living?...:?:
And I doubt eating carp food makes it easier.......

 

Is that a typo? carp/crap:?:

 

No typo Mas, carp is one of the most known fish there is. They are bottom feeders hence easy to catch with bait. The pic I stole off the net somewhere, and is a big specimen.

Apex, mealies are used for a lot of food. Mealie pap is actually nice and it can be prepared various ways. Pap for fishing is made without salt.

 

Ahh Fanie I know. Some people even eat carp, what a horror vision. But it can get worse.
Reportedly the Usanians eat half raw minced meat, covered with red sugar sauce and yellow grease, topped with a sort of white plastic "cheese" and flowers, between white "pap" , they call it "Cheeseburger". Look at them, the desastrous result is obvious!

 

FIND OUT WHO TRULY IS YOUR ROLE MODEL. DON'T SCROLL DOWN YET, DO THE SIMPLE MATHS BELOW, THEN SCROLL DOWN TO FIND YOUR HERO.
It's CRAZY how accurate this is!

No peeking!

1) Pick your favourite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3

4) Then again, multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)

5) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....

6) Add the digits together


Now Scroll down







*










*
With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein
2. Sandra Day O'Connor
3. Prince Charles
4. Ghengis Khan
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Ronald Regan
8. Elvis Presley
9. Fanie

I know, I know....I just have that effect on people. One day, you too
can be like me

P.S. Stop picking different numbers!!
I AM YOUR ROLE MODEL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!