Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Yip, always in the ****, only the depth varies

Heads you win, tails I lose...

 

What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on 'ahead' I'm gonna give these two a lift...

FOR SALE:
Complete Encyclopedia set.
No longer needed.
Got married last week.
Wife knows everything...

 

No More Boats...

Hello...

Two guys new to the sport go hunting - one guy wings his friend - he goes down screaming death and murder...

The shooter calls 911 - operator gets on - I think I may have shot my friend dead - operator asks are you sure - shooter says no...

Operator says stay on the line - go make sure that he is dead and then get back to me...

Silence - then a BANG - then the shooter asks the operator - now what do I do...

SH.

 

Royal Navy and an "admiral" interview...

View, listen and enjoy......

"and what are they for?".....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0jgZKV4N_A

 

Iceland goes bust !! Fireside sale !!

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Country-for-s...39:1|66:2|65:12|240:1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14

 

you guys are sick, these are tuff times for all of us an all you do is kid around

 

It's the only thing keeps mind and soul togethere

 

That little girl with an orange trim & M logo of "macdonalds"?, has one bloody ugly head - thank goodness one does not - well U can guess the rest....

Fanie, Is that a new brand of toothpaste? - or - glue? - or - hair creme/gel?... What has that got to do with keeping mind & soul together?

 

i would rather "grams" cook my burger then those half wits they usually hire.

 

Don't pretend you guys there in .au doesn't know what ky is. If you tell me you brush your teeth with it then I will believe you, but I don't believe you don't know what it is

He he... you asked for it

 

Fanie, Go brush your teeth with it you dirty old man you

 

Bloody women drivers!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This morning on the Freeway,
I looked over to my left and there was a
Woman in a brand new Holden Calais doing 110 kms per hr
with her face up next to her rear view mirror
putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds !

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver,
which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
Using my knees against the steering wheel,
It knocked my Mobile phone away from my ear
Which fell into the coffee between my legs,

Splashed, and burned big Jim and the Twins,
Ruined the darn phone,
Soaked my trousers,
And disconnected an important call.


Bloody women drivers!!

 

big Jim always gets the hot end of the deal

 

I guess the guy in the back got a cold shoulder eh !

 

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ?If I died, would you get another dog??

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.