Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Brilliant Jim !!

 

But yours was for breaking the law - the only ones I can think of , 1 was shot by booth, 1 by a "watergate", 1 for a head-job, Oh and one was shot in the back of the head - - - We in OZ never had one to start with.... maybe a dick-'tator one day?

 

We are dealing with a saffer, I gotta make sure what ever I use was around fifty years ago otherwise they might not get it

 

Who's so old ? We were not even here yet. They had signs already then ? I knew they had basic sounds then...

 

I guess, Fanie, the implied age relates to the country being 50 years ago??? ?

 

Oooo nasty.

 

THE WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ??
> >
> > (Passing requires 4 correct answers)
> >
> >
> > 1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
> >
> > 2) Which country makes Panama hats?
> >
> > 3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
> >
> > 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October
> > Revolution?
> >
> > 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
> >
> > 6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named
> > after what animal?
> >
> > 7) What was King George VI's first name?
> >
> > 8) What colour is a purple finch?
> >
> > 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
> >
> > 10) What is the colour of the black box in a
> > commercial airplane?
> >
> >
> >
> > Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.
> >
> >
> >
> > Check your answers below.
> >
> >
> >
> > ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ:
> >
> >
> > 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116
> > years
> >
> > 2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
> >
> > 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep
> > and Horses
> >
> > 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October
> > Revolution?
> > November
> >
> > 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
> > Squirrel fur
> >
> > 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named
> > after what animal? Dogs
> >
> > 7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
> >
> > 8) What colour is a purple finch? Crimson
> >
> > 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New
> > Zealand
> >
> > 10) What is the colour of the black box in a
> > commercial airplane?
> > Orange (of course)
> >
> >
> >
> > What do you mean, you failed?? Me, too.
> >
> >
> > (And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)
> >
> >

 

All correct - - - No, I don't lie, I have done that quiz before......

 

Girl: Doctor, i want a general check-up
Doc: Ok... remove everything including your bra and panty then lay down
Girl: Oh.. not me Doc... its my Grandma
Doc: Ok Grandma, take a deep breath...

 

The Polite Way To Pee


During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach
good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute, I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'

'What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'

'And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us
your good manners?'

'I would say:
Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope
to introduce to you to after dinner.'

 

A man called home to his wife and said, 'Darling , I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up' 'Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. ' The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, 'Yes! Lots of salmons, some bluegills, and a few swordfishes. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?'








The wife replied, 'I did, dear. They're in your tackle box! ...'

 

real man do and real men don't

Something like: Real man don't wear blue silk pyjamas. Yeah.. nice...
Gues his wife is in for the natural version. He heh...

I had the joke above about the scratch on Sailing Anarchy and I got 3 replies people didn't understand it. Says something about the level, doesn't it.

 

You mean they didn't get that the guy had to sleep with his CLOTHES on !!! good grief.













I've had guys getting angry with me for telling a joke they don't understand.

He he... the proverb say if you're not strong then you must be weak
and if you're not clever then you must be dumb

 

What has 4 legs and an arm...A happy pit bull...

 

hahahaha

and i have guys get mad at me when they DO understand my jokes,,,,,,,usually cause its about them