Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Some time ago I heard the tale of a woman who successfully sued a Mom'n'pop pharmacy because they had not adequately explained how to use a product they had sold to her.

Seems that even though she put the spermicidal jelly on her toast she still got pregnant.

 

The best name I saw was L'Gopener. It's breeding was Good Brandy out of Loose Miss.

Phar Quinell wasn't approved in Australia.

OilBeefHooked and many others failed in England...
http://swns.com/news/amazing-racehorse-names-which-never-made-it-16253/

 

I like to quote Fanie here . . .

 

Aye Angélique, It could even have been funny had it not been true.

 

Anyone draw good Peanuts style comics?

I ask because of a bit of silly inspiration.

Imagine Charlie Brown out for a day sailing his new kite sail yacht ...

... and the Kite Eating Tree on top of a passing super yacht doing what it always does.

Charlie Brown: "Good grief!"

 

Not hard to imagine. Quite a common occurrence. My mast collected a parasailer. The boat driver/concessionaire was in the habit of lowering customers onto my mast. One day the customer grabbed the mast and hung on. Here's a guy getting his kite back.

 

It is such a big ocean and a mast tip is such a small target. That is impressive.

 

Maybe you should paint a kite on your hull (or a placard hanging from your railing) for everyone you snag? Bag 5 and adopt the nickname "Ace".

 

I'm afraid she's running off with her boat and motor . . . ​

‘‘ Evinrude Vintage Boat Ad, 1950s Outboard Motors, Milwaukee Wisconsin, Happy Woman on Motorboat - $ 6.00 USD - Only 1 available. ’’

P.S. - Print it yourself is for free I guess . . .

 

30 Facts That Sound Like BS, But Are Actually True.


Sometimes a friend spouts a fact that seems fake, sounds fake, and is fake. The following facts however seem fake, but are actually real.

1. Mammoths were alive when the Great Pyramid was being built.

2. Betty White is older than sliced bread.

3. From the time it was discovered to the time it was stripped of its status as a planet, Pluto hadn't made a full trip around the Sun.

4. The lighter was invented before the match.

5. Anne Frank and Martin Luther King Jr. were born in the same year.

6. France last used a guillotine to execute someone after Star Wars premiered.

7. Harvard University was founded before Calculus existed.

8. If you have 23 people in a room, there is a 50% chance that 2 of them have the same birthday.

9. It’s never said that Humpty Dumpty was an egg in the nursery rhyme.

10. The water in Lake Superior could cover all of North and South America in a foot of water.

11. North Korea and Finland both border the same country; Russia.

12. When you get a kidney transplant, they usually just leave your original kidneys in your body and put the 3rd kidney in your pelvis.

13. Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.

14. National animal of Scotland is a Unicorn.

15. The Ottoman Empire still existed the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series.

16. The lighter the roast of coffee, the more caffeine it has.

17. A speck of dust is halfway in size between a subatomic particle and the Earth.

18. If the timeline of earth was compressed into one year, humans wouldn't show up until December 31 at 11:58 p.m.

19. If you were able to dig a hole to the center of the earth, and drop something down it, it would take 42 minutes for the object to get there.

20. We went to the moon before we thought to put wheels on suitcases.

21. A human could swim through the arteries of a blue whale.

22. If you could fold a piece of paper in half 42 times, the combined thickness would reach the moon.

23. On both Saturn and Jupiter, it rains diamonds.

24. Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia.

25. You can line up all 8 planets in our solar system directly next to each other and it would fit in the space between Earth and the Moon.

26. The youngest known mother was 5 years old.

27. The Earth is smoother than a billiard ball, if both were of the same size.

28. Nintendo was founded in 1889.

29. If you take all the molecules in a teaspoon of water and lined them up end to end in a single file line, they would stretch ~30 billion miles.

30. In Australia, there was a war called the emu war. The emus won.

 

31. the US Constitution actually forbids the several States from paying their obligations with federal reserve notes, since it specifically mandates that they only pay their debts in "gold and silver coin"

 

The emus suffered over 57,000 documented fatalities, with no fatalities within the ranks of the humans. It was a Pyrrhic victory.

 

A teaspoon of water is not hard to swallow, but number 29 is.

Poida

 

And yet the Emus never gave in to become Emos....

Advantage: birds