what i want now

Richly understood and acknowledged

 

I think so....

Aren`t they the ones you don`t put petrol into ?

 

the qualification was no experience necessary, you are obviously overqualified and will want too much money to not take care of the diesels that don't exist

 

To match your white silk gloves no doubt.Nice look.

BTW.....
If you have had your hands dirty for as long as I have had ....you would prefer clean ones too I`m certain.
Of course ...you would have to take those silk gloves off first to understand......try it sometime

 

Obviously.Read above.

 

Very well.
Like in every pirate story of a certain importance, we now have factions, resentment, hatred, subtle meanings and hidden messages.
We also have swords, sweat and blood. And keelhauling.

But...
Captain, long months at sea can have a pretty bad influence on crew's morale. Can we take some women on board?
Or at least, a few sheep?

 

I guess you have analyzed your perceptions.
Keelhaul away......(it will) "Give a particular solemnity to the procedure, which thus utterly appeases me."
"We also have swords, sweat and blood."
Would that be blood on your white gloves ?

 

passage for the women and sheep will have to come out of the crews wages, i got to make a living you know

 

In addition to my proven incompetence as purser I would like to mention that I can pipe visitors on board.

Please specify lead or iron, as I like to dress appropriately.

As I am utterly fearless at great heights and can hold my breath forever, unfortunately I am disqualified for either working aloft or keelhauling.

 

Wouln't they be safer on a gangplank? A pipe sounds like a painful way to move visitors.

 

reluctant wealthy visitors may have to be flogged on board

 

They will then row faster.

 

they'll have to be relived of heavy personal possessions like gold coins so they can row in more comfort

of course ill take possession of any visitor personal property for safe keeping

 

navigator needed skilled at throwing empty wine and rum bottles off the stern so rout can be retraced back to port

must know where stern of ship is

 

Just a note about keel hauling. If you did'nt drown(and you probably wished you had) you will be slashed to pieces by the barnacles.

Feet first, back to the hull. Not that it would make much difference.

Trust the Brits to come up with a pretty rotten idea when you were having a lovely day.

Mind you slicing the skin off the bottom of you feet and standing you in boiling water has to be in the top ten I would have thought. I forget who perfected that one , sounds Chinese.