The end of the world is near....... what Yacht will you build?

The end of the world...etc

So tell me Jack, if it's wrong to eat people - why are they made of meat...

 

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And why is fish not considered "meat". I reckon it was a marketing thing so all the Catholics would not starve over Easter..

Mychael

 

What's with the Wabbit... What's with the meat? Isnt Wabbit made out of meat too?

 

The end is near etc

Good point Mychael. I asked my wife (a good Catholic lass) but all she said was: "Don't speak with your mouth full - and have some more great, great, great, great uncle Tom Frost...."

 

The end is near etc

Don't be disgusting westlawn - just because my kin sh*t on your grass...

 

Nothing wrong with eating people, as long as you have thier permission.

You dont want to get sued for nibbling at some ones thighs in the cinema whilst crawling under the seats looking for you hat.

Walrus probably will be able to shine some light on this behaviour. He used to be an ice cream lady in the Roxy.

I frequently see young ladies that I would love to eat or a nibble here and there,

But on the hole human taste pretty good.

Women like to eat meat too, theres nothing like a bit of meat and two veg on a saturday night.

 

The end is near etc

Of course Jack, based in Thailand you'll know all about thighs...

But Walrus, as far I as I remember, was 'Mr Whippy' at the Odeon and only later, following an unfortunate incident whilst groping for his hat in the ill-lit lower-circle, transfered his attentions to the Roxy posing as an ice-cream lady when the American Fleet was in town. Again an unfortunate incident in the ill-lit upper-circle involving a short-sighted Master-Sergeant Marine in which what the Marine took to be an ice-lolly proffered by the said Walrus was not, and led to his banishment aboard a banana boat.
Of course my memory may be failing and no doubt Walrus will correct me if it is at fault....

 

walrus has not so far corrected you. As his name is all over the forum he must have been here after he got kicked out of the pub yesterday for stealing peoples beer when they go to the toilet.

He has done this before and is well known by the local police as a trouble maker.

Any way to get back to the ice cream lady. He has not corrected your storey so we shall have to accept that as accurate.

 

What yacht will you build

Just a thought Jack, but is Walrus the type of chappie we should welcome in these columns. I mean he'll give all those youngsters the wrong impression. Dipping a toe into this wealth of wisdom they may well draw the conclusion that boat people (even those with diesel engines) are rude, crude, bawdy, brine-soaked gudgies given to frequent bouts of drunken behaviour - when nothing could be closer to the truth....

 

Good point but I think walrus has finally got a job and he may not be giving us too much more of his attention in the future.

Not only does the man down the road need his fence and shed creasoting and walrus has agreed to do the job for 50 pence a day, he has also finally got a job with the council on the rubish truck.

Poor ole walrus he has wanted this job for years --following family foot steps as it were.

He was in the pub last night with his brand new bib and brace overalls on --with a new ball point pen in his pocket that his mum had bought him.

His little face was beaming as he tried to get more beer into his mouth.

Thats why he has the tache it helps to guide the glass to his face.

 

The end is near etc

No, no Jack. I find once more I must spring to old Walrus' defence. Not a job on a rubbish truck... merely an unexpected lift.

Here's how it came about: Walrus following that intimate evening with the Martine Master Sergeant discovered 'Monika'-type stains on his Ice-Cream lady uniform. Fearful of returning home in such a state he repaired to the cinema toilet and there observed a pair of dungarees hanging from one of the doors (removed whilst the plumber wrestled with a missing hat which was blocking the U-bend).
Making a swift exit - via the exit - Walrus heard what he believed to be sounds of pursuit. (It was in fact a three-piece suit - Harris Tweed and very squeaky). But unaware of this Walrus took refuge (pun) behind a trio of bins left out for collection.
It was whilst crouching behind the wheelies and rummaging through the plastic bags (as is an old seaman's wont) Walrus discovered what to him was a shining example of modern technology - a ball-point pen - and thinking it might make an awesome topic for the Boat Design Forums - placed it in his breast pocket. (He has a pocket reserved for pictures of breasts).
But it was whilst stooping to retrieve the aforesaid item that the garbage truck arrived and in the dim pre-dawn light the bin men, understandably mistaking Walrus for something nasty which had been discarded, hurled him into the back.
Luckily the rear doors were not secured and Walrus made his escape - clutching two carrier bags of empty bottles - which he promptly cashed in at his local for a half-pint of his namesake ‘mild and bitter.’

 

Arh! Bergalia you've been spying on me again! I've warned you about such activities laddie - carry on like that and you'll be locked up with a Jenny for seven years somewhere in Cornwall - no wonder 'sheran' at the thought! Scare the pants of me too - still you do not have the sign "protect from Frost" anywhere on your person (YET - time will tell, careful there Bergalia he sez he wus an enginear - last week he couldn't spell enginear this week he is one! Frightening - will tell us he owns a wheel spanner next!!!

 

What yacht will you build

Just like to keep the record straight Walrus me old mate. Can't have these young newcomers getting the wrong idea about your peculiarities. As for the boy Jack - name rang a bell in a round-about way from ages back. Used to call in at Kinlochbervie for a bite at the Seamans Mission (great platefull, eggs, bacon, beans, black pudding (not the caulking kind) fried bread and a pint mug of tea - 2/6d) But the Mission cook Joan was a large lady (Walrus sized) who had a constant 'fag' in her mouth and a sweat drop at the end of her nose. Now the connection - it was a constant Shakespean quote that "Greasy Joan doth keel the pot..." and in the same sonnet "Jack Frost with icy fingers nipped..." Weird recollection. Must be entering my dottage...Tell Jenny I'll be over in August...

 

Ille bet there not many people round here know what 2/6d is.

What a horrendous picture that story cunjures up, helped of course with being in similar road side Greasy spoon type cafes hundred of years ago.

I need more stories like that --help me on my diet.

Im not saying I am a fat *******--I leave that for other people to judge.

It was the picture of walrus that actually started me on it.

Whhooaa I said --dont wanna look like that,--take this food away.

Mind you fried bread and black pudding,---Jeeees

 

Bergalia,- I am constanty being amazed at the stories you tell and the similarities of your childhood and upbring has to mine in England.

Just little things now and again,--like the broken arm and swan thing, now the cash in the bottles for brown and bitter. Odeon cinema!!!!!! Oh and Mr whippy!!!

We as kids used to jump over the fence at the back of the off licence and steel empty bottles and march them straight round the front and sell them back to him again.

He never knew and would say --doing well tonight lads!! Youve collected quite a few.