Random Picture Thread

Ages ago I never bought into the "news" Omni printed, like the Russian who claimed that having tampons in your nose helped fight off the flu.

Can I plead stress?

I mean, my mom is in the hospital with pneumonia, and I've got both my handicapped sister and grandmother with dementia all to myself this weekend as a result.

I guess had I scanned the Viking Knarr thread a few more post I'd have seen something useful....

 

It does! - if you use tampons in your nose, you are 50% less likely to catch the flu.

Interestingly, if you block off you mouth as well, you are 100% guaranteed to not catch the flu, but the funeral expenses are a downer

 

Actually, if you went around with tampons stuck up your nose people might give you a lot of space, which may increase the effectiveness of the tactic.

But then so would eating a whole garlic clove every day....

 

Was going to make a derogatory comment about the Frenchies... but I'll leave that to the readers imagination.

Garlic does have many health benefits but prevention of the Flu is not however among them. The recent studies by the CDC have confirmed negligable risk of Flu transmission with Vampires as the primary vector

 

Don't start dumping on vampires. We are sensitive. and particularly so about blood relations.

 

If you use tarpons in your nose, you are 50% more likely to catch a shark.

 

I assume you are referring to used tampons Hoyt. Vampires use them as teabags.

Poida

PS This may have nothing to do with flu, but it's sick.

 

Many years ago as a freshly married man, I was asked to go to the local convenience store for some feminine "plugs". It was about 2:30 in the morning and not what I wanted to do, but . . . there I was. A pimply faced kid, a few years younger than me was behind the counter, as I plopped down the box of extra absorbents. He looked at me and I dead stared at him, when I said, "I get terrible nose bleeds in the morning." I'll never forget the look on that kid's face as I paid and walked out.

 

Check again. I said tarpons, not tampons.

 

So that's how I lost my job in the fish shop.

Poida

 

What we call a harmless joke in Ireland:


Two little brothers, 8 & 10, decided it was time to start swearing. "What do you want for breakfast" their Mother asked. "Give me some fuc*in' cornflakes" said the eldest. The clip round the ear sent him flying across the kitchen. The mother turned to the younger boy and said " what do YOU want for breakfast?". "Well" he said, "I don' t want any of them Fuc*in' cornflakes........"!

 

Heh ... 2+2= *smack!*

 

A boy learned a lot while watching and listening.to the workmen constructing a new house. He explained to his mother how to hang a door.
"You hold the sob up and if the fuc'r don't fit, shave a c'nt hair off here and there till it fits."
Tell it to your father, she advised. Dad's response to the recitation, "Boy! Go get a SWITCH!"
Lad's response, "Fu'k that! That's the electricians job!"

 

Yeah, Dad explained what sort of SWITCH he wanted, and sent the boy off

The kid returned 5 minutes later, and said 'I cant break any branches of the tree - but heres a rock you can throw at me !"

 

Monument along the highway in Kyrgyzstan.