My boat cant catch fish

Discussion in 'Boat Design' started by Frosty, Aug 19, 2006.

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  1. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    I have had it confirmed last night by some extremely intelligent gentlemen at the bar that it is infact a 'shoal of fish. However you can not say 'I cought a shoal of fish' this is wrong .

    After being cought it is infact correct to say 'I cought a **** load of fish'. Using this terminology would infact describe your claim that you have captured ( alive or dead) a large (or small) quantity of sub-aquatic creatures and the exact species of such are yet undefined, unclear and non specific.
  2. westlawn5554X
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    westlawn5554X STUDENT

    Come on that is too scientific for this forum, But I am glad and would say that too" **** load of mermaid".

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  3. bilgeboy
    Joined: Dec 2005
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    bilgeboy Senior Member

    When I'm fishing, which is whenever I'm not working on the boat, I like to philosophize, and I like to think about why men like fishing.

    Its universal. I see transients dropping a hook in a large puddle after a large rain storm here in Boston. Old men, young boys - race and ethnicity is not even a factor. Men that don't like fishing just haven't done enough of it. Its deep rooted in the psyche, and I'll spare you some of the shallows of my mind.

    Recently, I've been considering how gambling and fishing are similar, and I'm sure whichever neurotransmitter is released when you hit a big jackpot is the same one released when the rod bends in half and the line starts whizzing off the reel. You spent $20 bucks in gas getting to the boat which has already cost you all of your disposable income and your marriage/relationship, $100 in diesel, $20 in tackle/lures, (you already spent too much on the rods and reels), $20 on food, ice, drinks, a days wages that you might have earned if you were working and not fishing, and you are sitting in the sun trying to start a chum slick to attract Jaws to your boat.

    He misses the date.

    You go home. Cooler full of ice.

    Throw some more money at the problem. Better luck next time. At least I didn't have to watch retirees throw their pension checks away all day at the casino. Saw some dolphins, logged a few more hours out at sea. We have an expression around here not fit for such a classy web page...the gist of which is that a day out at sea adds to the accumulation of sodium chloride on the paired male reproductive organs.

    Like Pavlov's dog, I jump at the sound of the "clicker" on the reel, and that neurotransmitter starts flowing. Somehow makes it all worthwhile.

    You can't win if you don't play.

  4. gerard baladi
    Joined: Nov 2004
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    gerard baladi Junior Member

    In our part of the world they are promoted to surgeon fish
  5. Poida
    Joined: Apr 2006
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    Poida Senior Member

    Yeah I bet Gerard, all lined up in a roe.
  6. im412
    Joined: Jan 2005
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    im412 Junior Member

    i find decoys work really well


    Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.
    Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
    Line - Something you give your coworkers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
    Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
    Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
    Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
    School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
    Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
    Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
    Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming that darn line for once again losing the fish.
  7. SamSam
    Joined: Feb 2005
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    SamSam Senior Member

    I think 'a swarm of fish' might also be applicable. As to the size of 'a shitload', I believe 'small' would be incorrect and offer this as evidence. Sam
  8. safewalrus
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    safewalrus Ancient Marriner

    It would appear this little collection is in the wrong forum, but what the hell here's my input - when I was in Welly's part of the world (in my youth) if we were certain there were non of the locals around, we used a simple little system called a "Mills 36" (hand grenade to the uninitiated), worked everytime if a little comprehensive! And Jack Frost considering your in much the same area the ruse might work for you! just make sure ther's no locals around they seem to get upset by the system for some reason! Don't need no boat either!:D :p :p

    Oh yes makes a mess of the environment but if your running around in a ginormouse 'gas guzzler' you sure as hell don't give a fig for the environment anyway!:p

    the Walrus
  9. westlawn5554X
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    westlawn5554X STUDENT

    Now swamp of fish, I should have taken that extra hour in grammer school while I can afford it.:(
  10. brian eiland
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    brian eiland Senior Member

  11. SamSam
    Joined: Feb 2005
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    SamSam Senior Member

    I agree. ;) Sam
  12. ron17571
    Joined: Jan 2005
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    ron17571 Junior Member

    You need at least a forty thousand dollar boat and a forty thousand dollar truck to tow it,both must be color cordinated,bonus points for metelflake paint on the boat,well this is what i see all the time,and of course you dont eat the fish u catch!Dont be fooled into thinking you could catch fish with a canoe and a crappie pole with a bobber and worm.
  13. waikikin
    Joined: Jan 2006
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    waikikin Senior Member

    Collective nouns

    A "fry-up of fish" sounds best to me, maybe a "steam-up" with ginger & shallot? Regards from Jeff.:p
  14. westlawn5554X
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    westlawn5554X STUDENT

    Fish N Chip counter will be the easiest option I know to have fish in your mouth:)

  15. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    Finally cought a bloody fish,--- well a fish big enough to eat. I bought a crab pot and baited it with fish heads and cought a 'rock cod' I think. I kept it for a few days in a keep net I bought from the fishing shop, ( I know the guy pretty well now) I lowered the net down under the boat ( I mentioned 'boat' just to keep the forum happy) near the marina pilings.

    Any way we decided to eat it,--- so i guess I had to kill it,-- well it just wouldnt die, I hit it on the head repeatedly right between the eyes, the wife was very upset at this seemingly brutal attack on this fish that grasped onto life with such tenacity. I couldnt hit it any harder, till I could see a definate indent in his head. Oh I thought thank god for that. Nope we started to scale it and it opened its gills again,-- jeees smack -smack with apeice of 2x2x2meter. Finally I cut its bloody head off.

    I put its head back in the cab pot. It was a nice fish to eat -- lovelly.

    I think I might just go to the cold storage next time.
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