Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by Sean Herron, Oct 18, 2009.

  1. TeddyDiver
    Joined: Dec 2007
    Posts: 2,578
    Likes: 120, Points: 73, Legacy Rep: 1650
    Location: Finland/Norway

    TeddyDiver Gollywobbler

    Got to admit my mariage goes swell nowadays.. Missus have been 10000km away last 12 months.. and I'm not buying her a ticket back :p
  2. Boston

    Boston Previous Member

    hang in there Shawn
    it will be over soon enough and it will be like a whole hew world opens up for you

    interesting view Fanie
    I approach the live in thing from the dead opposite angle
    no ones leading anything and no ones in charge
    I want a partner not a subordinate
    not a snow balls chance Im getting married anytime soon and no way am I giving up my stuff in some bitter legal battle over who did what to who
    my theory is leave the cage door open at all times
    if that bird keeps flying back
    my guess is its cause she preferred it that way

    there seems to be some really odd things that happen once folks get married
    first strange event is a weight problem
    the girl generally gains about fifty pounds soon followed by the hubbies beer belly
    seen it happen more often than not
    both parties seem equally as guilty in this one

    question I always want to ask is
    how does a hundred bloody pounds sneak up on you
    I get bent if I am five pounds overweight
    but somehow these folks miss not being able to squeeze behind the steering wheel anymore
    if there were a fat clause in the divorce laws I bet that trend would change fast

    forget it
    I'll just live with a girl who knows enough to keep on her toes
    and keeps me on mine
    cause that cage door thing works two ways

    best of luck folks
    I still say the leading cause of divorce is marriage

    there is a big difference between being somewhere cause you have to and being somewhere cause you want to
  3. Sean Herron
    Joined: May 2004
    Posts: 1,520
    Likes: 32, Points: 58, Legacy Rep: 417
    Location: Richmond, BC, CA.

    Sean Herron Senior Member

    That was the best...

    Great bits - thanks...
  4. Knut Sand
    Joined: Apr 2003
    Posts: 471
    Likes: 30, Points: 28, Legacy Rep: 451
    Location: Kristiansand, Norway

    Knut Sand Senior Member

  5. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
    Posts: 4,603
    Likes: 170, Points: 63, Legacy Rep: 2484
    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    Eh Boston,
    It has become way too easy for people to divorce, and people divorce for the most part for the wrong reasons like the tube of tooth paste. Never thought of getting a tube for each of us, concentrating on the fight and not the solution, for some reason most issues is like this, we stop to think. It is however a matter of mutual respect.

    I get the impression when somone gets married it's like 'now it's final, I have arived and no matter how I act I'm set and comfy'. Marriage per se in reality is only a piece of paper, which is not worth the ink it's written in. Where it really counts is in the mind and the mind set about it. If you look after your 'partner' (supposed to be for life eh !) then it will go well.

    I want to say again, the man of the house is supposed to be the leader. You want to wear the pants, you want to be the big shot when it comes to decisions... then you have to take the responsibility as well. To whom much is given, much will be expected - and this applies to all walks of life. If you cannot or will not take the bigger responsibility then give it to the wife - and a lot of men give this to the wife, nothing wrong with that, it is not a sign of weakness, only a matter of who handles certain things better and with better judgement.

    You ever wondered why opposites attract - it's our way of compensating for our shortcomings. Not sure why after the marriage we want to change them or they us, before the marriage they were soooo perfect... Simple, before the marriage we concentrated on the mate, after the marriage we begin to concentrate on ourselves, and want our own ways...

    Marriage is like building a boat, the thought and consideration you put into it globally and into the detail will determine how well it performs, how comfortable and reliable it is going to be, and how well it will serve you in the long run.

    Unfortunately and sadly success is rated in your $'s worth, not in the success at home and in those values. Maybe for this reason the world is so ****** up.
  6. Boston

    Boston Previous Member

    I hope you will accept a respectful disagreement then Fanie
    but that sounds very much like the basic Judo-Christianic set of ethics that's led so many people to so much solitude.
    all people yearn for freedom from any form of subjugation whether its in a marriage or in the work place
    Equals is what I prefer all the way and fundamentally its the only state of existance that seems to lead to true happiness
    a partner and an Independent is a far cry from a subordinate with the privileges and responsibilities being shared mutually
    and the rewards

    I see it every once in a while but its rare
    generally its those rare few marriages that work out

    did you ever watch that movie "The African Queen"
    great old movie you would probably enjoy if you have not already seen it
    reason I mention it is that its about two people thrown together in dificult times who take mutual responsibility and both share the lead
    had they not been acting like partners and both offered and accepted the others lead at times
    they would never have made it

    to each his own
    but I still say marriage is the leading cause of divorce
    that and the basic failure of exactly the system you seem to be describing as what works
  7. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
    Posts: 4,603
    Likes: 170, Points: 63, Legacy Rep: 2484
    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    The Christianic set of ethics is sound, no matter how you argue them.

    Something wrong with the setup then. The act of getting married is only a promise to be true to one another, share a life together... you heard it before, although it seems some think it's only a license to get layed more easily :D Whether you are officially married or just living together, what exactly is the difference ? The expectations are exactly the same.

    As for anything Africa, I live in this figgin place, I try and avoid anything 'African' or African themes as far as possible in an effort to maintain sanity.

    It is not marriage that causes divorce it's people. What do you call it when two people are living together ? It's the same as marriage. You can still claim the same as if when you are / were married. If you are married and wants to seperate nothing say you have to divorce, just ignore the piece of paper and go live elsewhere, save a bunch.

    Whether you are married or not, moving in together and making a life together is exactly the same. Someone mentioned keeping on your toes, maybe some does need a bit of a threat (whip) to keep them on the streight and narrow :D

    Still, if you marry or not, living together is the same thing, the same is expected to make it successful. If it's that piece of paper they issue then refuse to take it, burn it, or something ;)
  8. Boston

    Boston Previous Member

    might be best if we just agree to disagree the religious aspects Fanie

    although I think Cathrine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart made a great pair in the movie
    Ild once again highly recommend it
    give it a chance
    they get married in the end :D

    being a Native American and having minored in history your going to have a dam hard sell with the Judo-Christianic ethics line of reasoning

    I'll just wish you the best and bale out on any discussion of religion that might stir up any unnecessary issues as it seems most people get all kinds of excited if you discuss there personal mythos

    this is Shawn's thread after all
    and it sounds like advice on marriage was not the initial intent but rather advice on surviving divorce

    if you want to discuss the history of religions or specifically the impact of the Judo-Christianic ethos in the new world it would probably be best to PM me rather than discuss it in the boating forum
    Im always happy to discuss history and such but maybe just not here

  9. welder/fitter
    Joined: Jun 2008
    Posts: 407
    Likes: 32, Points: 0, Legacy Rep: 423
    Location: Vancouver

    welder/fitter Senior Member

    Sounds like you could use a few nights at "Chicago Tonight", Sean. Best of luck!
  10. Tug
    Joined: Aug 2007
    Posts: 50
    Likes: 8, Points: 0, Legacy Rep: 122
    Location: Muskoka,Ontario,Canada

    Tug Junior Member

    All women are crazy...
    You just have to find the crazy you can live with...
  11. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    [QUOTE=Fanie. Marriage per se in reality is only a piece of paper, which is not worth the ink it's written in. Where it really counts is in the mind and the mind set about it.

    Exactly so why bother with it. The only people who are happy when some one marries is florists and lawers.

    Marriage will become laughable in the future,,-no wait it already is.

    It can work the other way fannie --once your married you dont care, you dont need to,-- she /he cant get away " I dont need to wash my hair or shave any more".

    Being able to leave keeps it alive.
  12. masalai
    Joined: Oct 2007
    Posts: 6,823
    Likes: 120, Points: 0, Legacy Rep: 1882
    Location: cruising, Australia

    masalai masalai

    Sean, buy a dozen roses, a bottle of her favourite beer/wine/champagne, kiss & make up...
  13. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
    Posts: 4,603
    Likes: 170, Points: 63, Legacy Rep: 2484
    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    And that's the easy and cheap way. The difficult part is keeping the pose up. She's going to watch your every move :D But once her trust in you has been restored... it gets easier every day. Patience.

    Eh Boston, what's with the natives ? Is there any where except in parliament where they flourish and prosper :eek: Btw, you realize it is ONLY whites that are racisits...

    It's a human institution. Same kind of thing that says when it gets dark you have to sleep, and when the sun comes up you must get up and go to work. The wife must buy groceries at month end, no other time. It took me months to get my old witch out of this one. So there are lots of things assumed to be a certain way. In reality it's what's between the ears and what's in the heart that counts.

    It could be something to do with the guilt the churches lay on people, if there is something that pisses me off terribly then it is when someone tries to make me feel guilty about what and how I do things, like we don't have a brain to think for ourselves.
  14. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    "Love stinks" great movie.

  15. Sean Herron
    Joined: May 2004
    Posts: 1,520
    Likes: 32, Points: 58, Legacy Rep: 417
    Location: Richmond, BC, CA.

    Sean Herron Senior Member

    No Kids - Common Investments...

    All the butter gets split in two - all done...
    Debt free - 60 odd grand collecting interest...
    Truck paid for...
    Job picking up on the Camno 41's and other...
    Buy a Boler trailer - rent a tent in the yard - set up the #11 Forest Oak wood stove - buy a welder and a an old bankers chair - sit back back - and have a good think...

    Aside from that - a good chuckle - a real conversation with real names just over lunch with a fantastic fiberglasser from Laos...
    I qoute - 'Sou and Sok - his brother Loeng - very fast - you hire now'...
    Ah - give me a minute...:)

Forum posts represent the experience, opinion, and view of individual users. Boat Design Net does not necessarily endorse nor share the view of each individual post.
When making potentially dangerous or financial decisions, always employ and consult appropriate professionals. Your circumstances or experience may be different.