BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. safewalrus
    Joined: Feb 2005
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    Location: Cornwall, England

    safewalrus Ancient Marriner

    Got a tug:D :D :D got it now:idea:
     
  2. Poida
    Joined: Apr 2006
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    Poida Senior Member

    You don't have to be slow to live in Cornwall, but it helps.
     
  3. Guillermo
    Joined: Mar 2005
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    Guillermo Ingeniero Naval

    This remembers me...a friend of mine who is a keen golf player, once told me: "You don't need to be stupid to play golf, but it helps a lot"
     
  4. Bergalia
    Joined: Aug 2005
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    Bergalia Senior Member

    Boat jokes

    Don't blame me, blame Guillermo - he started the 'golf' tangent.
    True story. My father-in-law a rabid golfer used me as a caddy (because I'm hopeless as a partner) and one day out on the Nairn Golf course (North east of scotland) it was heavy sleet being driven by a force eight wind slicing across the fairway which runs beside the the river. A couple of figures were hunched over their rods. "Bloody hell," said the father-in-law, "Will you look at those idiots fishing on a day like this...." :rolleyes:
     
  5. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    Berglia-- it just occured to me--If your a Scottish decendent,--then its quite likely youve probably been to Blackpool and the yates'es bar and the Tower lounge, north pier, Pleasure beach???????

    You Scotts used to come down and we all used to stay out of town on Glaswegion fortnight, Jeeees no one dare go down town then.

    I remember one year they ripped up the wooden dance floor of the Winter Gardens.
    ---Dont know why--probably because it was closing time.
     
  6. Bergalia
    Joined: Aug 2005
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    Bergalia Senior Member

    Boat jokes

    No, no Jack. You've got it all wrong. Glasgow Fair Week yes. But the lads and I had come down (with that incident at Culloden still fresh in our minds) for what had been billed as a 'Revival Meeting' and assumed the Jacobite lads were about to have another go...But much to our consternation discovered it was something to do with a feller called Billie Graham (not even the Scots spelling of Graeme).
    Disconcerted we sought out the Tower Ballroom for refreshment and were about to request the strains of a tango, or waltz through which to work off our disappointment when this bloke at the organ, Dixon I believe was his name, vanished from view into the basement. It was while searching for him that we inadvertently ripped the dance floor apart....But of course, you may have heard otherwise....
     
  7. safewalrus
    Joined: Feb 2005
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    Location: Cornwall, England

    safewalrus Ancient Marriner

    An I thoght ye wus collectin fire wood, it being close to Burns Night! (any nights burns night in Blackpool, you gotta liven it up somehow!)
     
  8. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    Berglia Ahh gocha, Your trying to scare me with accuracy.

    Reginald Dixon is long dead and the mighty Wurlitzer still plays on but---the Winter gardens is not the Tower ball room.

    If youve not been paraletic on a Sat night in Blackpool then your not a real scott.
     
  9. Bergalia
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    Bergalia Senior Member

    Boat jokes

    Oh....THAT Blackpool.....:(
     
  10. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    Ey its a lovely place is Blackpool you can get a bird right easy there.

    Sand in between your toes, a mug of tea for the beach and a deck chair --all for sixpence.

    I saw the bearded lady, and the Wild man from Borneo.

    Sometimes you would meet people that talked so funny you couldnt understand what they were saying,---like "gi us a pint oh heavy" and 'ooorrr ile be havin a cider I will oooo rrr'

    Sometime really wierd people from so far south like Corwall would come up to see the lights, they would stand amazed looking at the flashing lights,--on--off--on--off, they were amazed at it.

    Ey its a good place Blackpool it made a man out me and a man out of the wife.
     
  11. Bergalia
    Joined: Aug 2005
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    Bergalia Senior Member

    Boat jokes

    Let me guess...you married the bearded lady......
    :D
     
  12. safewalrus
    Joined: Feb 2005
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    Location: Cornwall, England

    safewalrus Ancient Marriner

    Well Jack it all comes home to me now why your such a numptie - if you come from Blackpool you ain't got much choice have you? Only place worse is Morecambe up the coast! And that's so dead even you would be a personality there!!
     
  13. Frosty

    Frosty Previous Member

    Gotch walrus I knew you would have been to Blackpool to look at the flashing lights, and you know where Morecombe is too --well done .


    Was it a geriatric coach tour you went on?

    I could just imagine you on a donkey witha "kiss me quick" hat on.

    Where do you go for your 2 week holidays now --Majorca.
     
  14. artemis
    Joined: Oct 2004
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    artemis Steamboater

    Time to get backto basics here... and also to include the kayak/canoe crowd.
     

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  15. Bergalia
    Joined: Aug 2005
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    Bergalia Senior Member

    Boat jokes

    That has to be an all time classic Artemis...As that great Scots actor Clint McEastwood says - "You've made my day..."
     
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