Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    Scientists annoy me, they're always going on about Boyle's Law and Archimedes' Law.

    One came up to me and said: "If you had a boat which experiences no net force, then its velocity is constant: the boat is either at rest, or it moves in a straight line with constant speed Newton's Law"

    So I said "Here's one for you: If you have an apple, a carrot, a cabbage, mayonnaise and mix them all up together, it tastes really nice. - Coles Law."
     
  2. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    "If you had a boat which experiences no net force" then its sitting in your driveway on the trailer or is in a pond not much bigger than your swimming pool.
     
  3. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    Substitute apple for boat then it(the joke) makes sense.
     
  4. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    That pretty well describes my boat.
     
  5. Blueknarr
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    Blueknarr Senior Member

    But is the boat still exerting a diminishing force on your wallet?
     
  6. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    You betcha.
     
  7. Blueknarr
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    Blueknarr Senior Member

    Then it's still a boat and not forbidden fruit
     
  8. Will Gilmore
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    Will Gilmore Senior Member

    Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

    Having designed a boat that can sail through time, Tesla went and visited all his heros of science. He ended up bringing Einstein, Newton and Pascal together to talk over drinks. The conversation started winding down when Newton suggested they play a game.

    Tesla, Einstein, Newton and Pascal decided to play hide and seek. They spun the empty bottle sitting on the table and Einstein was it. Einstein closed his eyes and counted to 10.

    Tesla and Pascal ran off to hide

    Newton, very calmly pulled a piece of chalk out of his coat pocket and measured a square one meter by one meter out on the ground. Newton then stepped into the middle of the square.

    When Einstein opened his eyes, Tesla and pascal were nowhere to be seen. Newton was sitting right in front of Einstein in the box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

    Einstein says “Newt, you’re terrible at this game, I’ve found you!”

    Newton says “No no, Einy old chap. You’ve found one Newton per square meter. Thus, You’ve found Pascal!”

    There are 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don’t.

    -Will (Dragonfly)
     
  9. Tiny Turnip
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    Tiny Turnip Senior Member

    Its fairly well known that Frank Sinatra was a big fan of a yacht. However, evidence has recently emerged, in a previously unknown recording, that he was also fond of hot tubbing.

    As its already 11th November, its obviously high time for a Christmas song, and I don't think this will disappoint.

    Some say it was actually generated by Artificial Intelligence. Either way, I'm pretty sure it was recorded in the Overlook Hotel on Groundhog Day. Enjoy:

    Classic Pop, in the style of Frank Sinatra - Jukebox https://soundcloud.com/openai_audio/jukebox-265820820?fbclid=IwAR0vUZ1UB5gVTYTVlKtXGys8DYwBic97Fcd2XOCkRt4MulC6AtFJwuKpM28
     
  10. Tiny Turnip
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    Tiny Turnip Senior Member

  11. ImaginaryNumber
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    ImaginaryNumber Imaginary Member

  12. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    As I reminisce about the past years on this New Year's Day, it occurs to me that I was the tv remote control. High speed wireless, at that
     
  13. Will Gilmore
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    Will Gilmore Senior Member

    High speed?

    -Will (Dragonfly)
     
  14. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    Well, I was quick, as in prompt.
     

  15. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Old Woodbutcher

    It was easy. We only had 3 channels.
     
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