Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Never spoil a good joke with facts, but the answer is pretty simple (Dutch link) - (Google auto translate) - :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2019
  2. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    A fella had moved to Texas from Wyoming and after he and his family had settled in he found himself a local bar visited by people he thought he’d like well enough to hang out with.

    For his very first order he had three draft beers but to the bartender’s surprise he sat there taking a sip from each in rotation till all was gone. Then he ordered a second trio.

    “Sir,” the bartender spoke hesitantly, “when I pour these they start to go flat. If you ordered just one at a time they’d taste better.”

    The man waved his hand dismissively: “I have two brothers, one on Arizona and the other now in Colorado. We used to drink together all the time back home and when we started moving away we started drinking like this so we’re still drinking together even though apart.”

    “You’re drinking your brothers’ beer?”

    “You got it! And they drink mine the same.”

    For several years the man was a regular, always with his three mugs at a time, but one day he came in and only ordered two.

    There was dead silence in the bar and finally the bartender found his voice and offered the man condolences for his loss. Others followed suit.

    The man just stood there for a moment but suddenly laughed.

    “Oh, no, we’re all fine! Me and the missus just joined a Baptist congregation and I’ve had to give up beer.”

    He took a sip from each.

    “Doesn’t affect my brothers though…”
     
  3. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    There's a punny observation to be made ... I'll let someone else make it.

     
  4. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Great informative video :cool:. About the pun, maybe they flushed a U-boat down the toilet . . ? ?
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2019
  5. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    It happens, that's for sure.

    I imagine this is something that kept bobbing back up to the surface in the career of the former the commander if he remained a professional sailor.
     
  6. Angélique
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Last edited: Mar 19, 2019
  7. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    In all fairness to the guy, he's one of the few U-Boat commanders to bring almost his whole crew alive through the war. And he inadvertently led one of the few German landings of any sort.
     
  8. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)


    [​IMG]

    ‘‘ Karl-Adolph Schlitt¹ with John Smith² & Alec John Stephen³ in 1987 ’’

    ¹ U-1206 captain - - ² HMT Nodzu (?) - - ³ lobster boat Reaper skipper​

    ( Edit: next post's article learned ² = lobster boat Reaper deckhand 14 y/o at the time. )

    ‘‘ . . . Two naval trawlers, HMT Nodzu & HMT Ligny, approached and saw the U-1206 roll over and sink. Just before midnight, the Nodzu rescued twenty-three men from two rafts and took them to Aberdeen. Fourteen men on another raft were picked up by the Peterhead lobster boat Reaper, skippered by Alec John Stephen, and the fourth raft was washed ashore south of Boddam where six made it ashore but three crew were drowned. . . . ’’
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2019
  9. Angélique
    Joined: Feb 2009
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

  10. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    If the de Gaulle and the Ford are in the same port which one gets the only dry dock?
     
  11. Angélique
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    The Charles de Gaulle just left dry dock in Toulon on May 16, 2018 after spending over 14 months there as part of a mid-life upgrade that t00k 1½ year.

    [​IMG]
    Don't know if she had to compete with the Gerald R. Ford for the only dry dock in port who would get it . . ? ?
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2019
  12. Angélique
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    There are serious worries whether Easter can go ahead this year . . . :eek:

    [​IMG]

    Frisian: ‘‘ Ien hazze hie hy, de oare hazze hie hy hast. ’’‘‘ One hare he had, the other hare he had almost. ’’

    Pardon my Frisian :rolleyes:. - It's not my dog nor hare, I've grabbed the pic from the web . . :D
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2019
  13. Tiny Turnip
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    Tiny Turnip Senior Member

    Aaaw Angel! I think we need a sad song now...:

     
  14. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Hmm, that's a hell of a scary easter bunny, keep him in the van please, he might scare the children even more than the easter dog that has eaten the little bunny . . :eek:

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2019

  15. Dejay
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    Dejay Senior Newbie

    That was slightly disturbing. Now I need a pallet cleanser:


    Watching things get crushed always calms me down.
     
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