Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

The Goldilocks Zone: the place in the solar system where you stand the highest chance of suffering bear attacks

 

The Emperor ruled the galaxy for 30 years.

Sauron almost took over the world twice.

He Who Must Not Be Named tried to take over a high school ... and failed.

 

Me: I'm feeling pretty good except for #newpussycat.

Friend: What's newpussycat?

Me: Whoaaaaa Whoaaaa Oooohhh




(If y'all want GOOD jokes you should be posting them )

 

I've just asked my mother , she says you'll need to have been at least a teenager in '65 to understand the joke . .

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Single released on 5 June 1965 in the US and on 9 August '65 in the UK​

 

Years ago the family was going out eat. It had been raining pretty hard but was only misting just then so we hustled out to the car. Once in the car my mom gasped and pointed up to a limb in the nearby tree telling us to look.

There on the limb were two owlets, cuddled together affectionately looking rather happy despite the rain. Most in the car issued the predictable "dawwwws" but I, without thinking, said: "Moist owlets".

At that moment both owlets turned and stared at us. One left its perch to poop on the car's hood.

... mom made me pay for the car wash....

 

Here is one
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde had all entered a singlehanded race but failed to make it to the starting line.


The brunette lost her mast overboard during a grueling qualifying passage and couldn't get it repaired in time.


The redhead decided the flexing of the hull around the keelbolts she discovered at the last moment might lead to structural failure when she was far at sea and beyond the range of easy rescue.


The blonde couldn't find crew.

 

Well, this is not a joke, I've heard Susie starts in a single handed race on June 30, 2018, and that she has found a sponsor . . . ​

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P.S. - - Of course a brunette starts there too, but didn't hear of a redhead yet . .

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Erm.....

 

The windscreen needs the wipers behind the glass.

 

One can never be sure from whence came the bubbles.

 

On video you can't be sure, IRL the scent of the bubbles will tell the origin . . ​

Dolphins appear to be able to bubble from both ends . . . ​

Not so sure about humans without diving gear . . . ​

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What kind of a butcher is this . . . ​

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Obviously that's escaping air that was trapped in her bikini. I'm sure that's the story she still sticks to.

 

In the same gallery:

Sorry Yanks,