Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

It has been announced that Zsa Zsa Gabor has passed.

 

Bit spooky !

 

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Thanks for posting

I've just looked it up: ‘‘February 6, 1917 – December 18, 2016’’

Yes, next time I'll be more careful about who to present in a post here.

Scrolling down the posted link you see her 99 years long life pass by, but it seems she kept her humor till the end as the last 2011 quote there from her hospital bed was...

‘‘ I tell you, in this world being a little crazy helps to keep you sane. ’’​

So if she'd knew, I hope she wouldn't have mind to show up here on the Boat Jokes thread with a picture and a quote, three days before her passing, and maybe, if not to ill, it might have amused her, I hope so....

Here's in memory of Zsa Zsa the 1926 Russian song ‘‘Дорогой длинною’’ = ‘‘By the long road’’ ^{Google Translation} which is an reminiscence upon youth and romantic idealism.

And sung by Mary Hopkin in her 1968 hit version in English as ‘‘Those Were the Days’’ ^{(source) (YouTube backup)} Here's a full version ^(source) of the song, but not from a live concert.

First linked is a partial version of the song from the 1972 Live Recording at the Royal Festival Hall in London. Some parts in the full text made me rather melancholic though . .

Sári Gábor - aka: Zsa Zsa Gabor - R.I.P.​

 

Since one third of the contesant in the Vendee Globe 2016 had collisions with Unidentified Floating Objects. (Whale's, lumps of wood and containers) it is called the Wacky Races show.
http://www.vendeeglobe.org/en/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWPw0jEIhVw

 

Foreign politicians aren't everyone's cup of tea. They are so "foreign" . I could name a few who are unpopular here but I won't. Plenty of American politicians are unpopular here in America. I detest the term "USAnian".

Don't allow yourselves to be led like sheep by some demagogue who promises you everything but instead takes everything, leaving you with nothing, not even your basic human rights.

 

Attorney: "Now Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

Witness: "Did you actually pass the BAR exam?"

 

How dumb was that attorney, everyone knows you don't really know till you draw the curtains and see it is daylight outside.

 

Attorney: "Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?"

Witness: "All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight."


(Please note: these two "jokes" are supposed to be taken from actual court transcripts. Another forensic medicine example...)


Attorney: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy did you check for a pulse?"

Witness: "No."

Attorney: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

Witness: "No."

Attorney: "Did you check for breathing?"

Witness: "No."

Attorney: "So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

Witness: "No."

Attorney: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

Attorney: "I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?"

Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law."


(... and from the other end of life....)


Attorney: "She has three children, right?"

Witness: "Yes."

Attorney: "How many are boys?"

Witness: "None."

Attorney: "Were there any girls?"

Witness: "Your honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?"

 

He might have been a cut-rate lawyer.

 

- - - - click pic for source - - - -

 

Innovation:

Translated: The electrcal lightbulb wasn't developed by improvement of candles.

 

- - click pic for source - -

Left Fish: I really think this is a case of; the glass is half EMPTY !

Right Fish: Oh, you always look at it so pessimistic !

Angel's note: The Right Fish = The Right Fish - Or maybe not ?- ​

 

They breath by the gills (kieuwen) so the right fish is able to survive longer then the left fish.
or it's a matter how you see it.

 

How many Boat Design forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

 

That's top funny...