Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Did you know that bismuth, atomic number 57, is absolutely vital to the world's economy? And not just the world's economy but the success of each and every venture as well.

I mean, let's face it: if you're out of the 57th element you're out of bismuth!

 

So is the 6th element. Carbon.
let's name a few examples: every fosil fuel resource is carbon based.
Carbon di-oxide together with CH4 and C2H6 are main green-house gases.
Top racing circuit is carbon based.

Why do we need Bismuth for nautical engineering Rurudyne?

 

Gunboat is going out of bismuth....

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5Z-jJ2Z4bU

 

Somewhat late but too funny not to share:

The Irish Government has announced that future roundings of the Fastnet Rock lighthouse will now be subject to a toll. Yachts rounding the iconic islet in the Atlantic Ocean will be charged €10 per meter of waterline length, applied to “reciprocal” roundings (i.e. those where you enter and leave the area around the rock on reciprocal courses).

This new toll is seen as a political move, aimed at the Fastnet Race itself, while allowing local users the same unrestricted passage that they currently enjoy.

Eddie Warden-Owen, Chief Executive of the RORC, the organising authority for the biennial Fastnet Race, attacked the move as contrary to the International Law of the Sea which guarantees the right of ‘innocent passage’ through coastal waters of other states. “This is an act of diplomatic idiocy,” said Warden-Owen, who added that the RORC may have to look at other options for the rounding mark in the Fastnet. RORC Commodore, Irishman Michael Boyd, was unavailable for comment.

Simon Coveney, Irish Minister for the Marine, no mean yachtsman himself, explained the move as one of exercising Irish sovereignty, in an important year historically. “This is the 100th anniversary of the Easter Rising, Ireland’s equivalent of Independence Day. It is incumbent on us to remove any ambiguity about the ownership of this valuable piece of nautical territory.”

Minister Coveney refused to deny rumours that the rock might be renamed to honour one of the executed heroes of the 1916 Rising.

by sailingscuttlebutt.com

http://yachtboatnews.com/irish-announce-fastnet-toll/

 

Or this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSZPNwZex9s&spfreload=10
The new google self driving bike.

 

How an Sayians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one ... but it'll take 3 episodes....

 

Not quite Boaty McBoatface, but part of the name will live on....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36225652

 

I claim Boaty McBoatface for the new sailboat if I ever get her built.

 

Q: Why don't cows have feet?

A: Because they lactose.

 

Would you be surprised if some day Washington declared all toilets (in the US) to be federally owned wetlands because they have standing water in them?

Not sure I would anymore....

 

A woman has won a $10K lawsuit against Microsoft for issues stemming from forcefully upgrading her to Windows 10: http://m.slashdot.org/story/312963

I sure hope our resident NAs don't have any problems with the new OS version, it would be a shame if any could take advantage of this precedent and secure their own Microsoft swag.

 

Q: what is the cheapest cut of meat?

A: deer balls, they're under a buck.

 

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the toilet?

The p is silent.

 

Nulla materia sumptus, possum et ego operor.

... dedicated to those who regulate limits of the curvature of bananas and cucumbers.