Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. ImaginaryNumber
    Joined: May 2009
    Posts: 435
    Likes: 59, Points: 28, Legacy Rep: 399
    Location: USA

    ImaginaryNumber Imaginary Member

  2. hoytedow
    Joined: Sep 2009
    Posts: 5,784
    Likes: 359, Points: 93, Legacy Rep: 2489
    Location: The Land of Lost Content

    hoytedow Fly on the Wall - Miss ddt yet?

    Who does he think he is, Solyndra?
     
  3. ImaginaryNumber
    Joined: May 2009
    Posts: 435
    Likes: 59, Points: 28, Legacy Rep: 399
    Location: USA

    ImaginaryNumber Imaginary Member

  4. HakimKlunker
    Joined: Aug 2009
    Posts: 274
    Likes: 10, Points: 18, Legacy Rep: 146
    Location: Thailand

    HakimKlunker Andreas der Juengere

    A small foreign boat in a small foreign marina; the proceeding evening causes daylight to fade.
    The Skipper went shopping for some supplies while the Mrs.(and only crew) began to prepare dinner. When it started to rain she realized after a while that all deck hatches were still open. It was a little too late though and the cushions were already pretty wet. So as a first measure she threw lots of towels around to soak up the water. She then realized that she had forgotten about the laundry in the cockpit. Rushing outside she slipped on the wet stairs of the companionway, hit her head hard on something sharp and spilt quite some blood. Something fell into the water, but she was distracted with wiping off blood with one of the shirts from the said laundry.
    She next rushed to the head to wash off the blood from her face and get some plaster from the first aid kit. When she noticed the smell of something burning: One of the drying towels had landed next to the stove and had caught fire. She first threw the burning food into the cockpit, together with the cooking knife, that had somehow found the way into the pot. With the fire extinguisher she managed to stop the flames, although the wet cushions suffered even more now. As the rain meanwhile had stopped, she opened all deck hatches to get the smoke out of the boat.
    The coast guard arrived on the scene. The article that went over board earlier, had been the EPIRP (self activating of course).
    What they saw was this:
    A boat smoking from all its hatches. The cockpit covered with blood, bruised clothing and there was a knife within a mess of what could have been intestines of sorts. The lady, restricted in foreign communication skills, was taken in for further investigation.
    Meanwhile Skipper returned from shopping and found his boat in some disorder. As the Mrs., in her attempt to stop the blaze, had forgotten to turn off the water in the shower, the floorboards where now afloat. Skipper could not find his crew and with what he saw he concluded that something terrible must have happened. He dashed off to alarm the police, who immediately launched a search party.
    Meanwhile the Mrs. had been able to explain the mishap, and the coast guard released her. While she was on the way back to the boat, the policemen on their rescue mission crossed her way and because of her deranged appearance she was found to be suspicious. She was immediately taken to the police station for further investigation. Which lasted all night.
    The unsettled Skipper meanwhile cleared up the boat and got it back into reasonable condition. He found no sleep of course and so in the early morning turned up at the police station, where to his excitement he found his crew. However, the following paper work and explanations lasted the rest of the day.
    In the evening the couple finally managed to come to a sort of normal life again. So she began with preparations for dinner, while Skipper went shopping to replace some lost supplies.
    It started to rain.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. ImaginaryNumber
    Joined: May 2009
    Posts: 435
    Likes: 59, Points: 28, Legacy Rep: 399
    Location: USA

    ImaginaryNumber Imaginary Member

    [​IMG]

    apologies if already posted
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. ImaginaryNumber
    Joined: May 2009
    Posts: 435
    Likes: 59, Points: 28, Legacy Rep: 399
    Location: USA

    ImaginaryNumber Imaginary Member

  7. Angélique
    Joined: Feb 2009
    Posts: 3,003
    Likes: 330, Points: 83, Legacy Rep: 1632
    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

  8. Angélique
    Joined: Feb 2009
    Posts: 3,003
    Likes: 330, Points: 83, Legacy Rep: 1632
    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

  9. troy2000
    Joined: Nov 2009
    Posts: 1,743
    Likes: 170, Points: 63, Legacy Rep: 2078
    Location: California

    troy2000 Senior Member

    I've always loved Calvin and Hobbes.
     
  10. Dirteater
    Joined: Oct 2010
    Posts: 203
    Likes: 22, Points: 0, Legacy Rep: 300
    Location: Canada

    Dirteater Senior Member

    So I'm out taking pictures, and I come across this ol'tractor ...
    great tractor ... good sign :D
     

    Attached Files:

  11. Angélique
    Joined: Feb 2009
    Posts: 3,003
    Likes: 330, Points: 83, Legacy Rep: 1632
    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Humm, petrol engine and the starter is gone . . :(

    Yes, great sign :D

    Cheers,
    Angel
     
  12. powerabout
    Joined: Nov 2007
    Posts: 2,916
    Likes: 63, Points: 48, Legacy Rep: 719
    Location: Melbourne/Singapore/Italy

    powerabout Senior Member

    was a Lucas starter as well..no loss
    35 fergie I think with weird steering, not seen of the those
     
  13. Angélique
    Joined: Feb 2009
    Posts: 3,003
    Likes: 330, Points: 83, Legacy Rep: 1632
    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    65 fergie says the hood, yes weird steering, never seen that either.

    Cheers,
    Angel
     
  14. Angélique
    Joined: Feb 2009
    Posts: 3,003
    Likes: 330, Points: 83, Legacy Rep: 1632
    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    I was shocked to see Manon Ossevoort on a fergie . . . . though good news for her ! !

    [​IMG]

    She's a Deutz girl . . . . (a compilation) . . . .

    [​IMG]

    Note the Belgian license plates :)

    Boat connection here, she is going to the South Pole, so she will use a boat as well . . :cool:

    Cheers,
    Angel
     

  15. Dirteater
    Joined: Oct 2010
    Posts: 203
    Likes: 22, Points: 0, Legacy Rep: 300
    Location: Canada

    Dirteater Senior Member

    It never ceases to amaze me ... the knowledge in these rooms :) :D :cool:
     
Loading...
Forum posts represent the experience, opinion, and view of individual users. Boat Design Net does not necessarily endorse nor share the view of each individual post.
When making potentially dangerous or financial decisions, always employ and consult appropriate professionals. Your circumstances or experience may be different.