Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

I am helping, with self generated methane ... (Is flatulence a consequence of the ageing process, or a change of diet by including "baked-beans"?

 

I think there needs to be further study as vegetarians all fart a lot but so do cows for meat eaters?

 

At the turn of the century New york and London smelt of ****. Almost everything was worked by horses that farted a lot.

400 years ago there millions of bison roaming North America and they farted too.

Probably hundreds of thousands of tons per day.

If you are worried about a small fart in the restaurant then fart into you handkerchief.

Hey---what thread is this?

 

That was a gas!

 

A classical gas!

 

came acros this one but as this is post 5414 in this thread it may have been posted before

 

Aye Yipster, I saw the man in the boat right away !

There's a boat in the background too, as it says.

With so much outgassing one would think a single lightning bolt can kinda cause a big explosion !

Maybe that's how the dyno's went extinct

 

I did not see the boat but I noticed her mouth is open and I am trying to figure out if she wants to grab something with her mouth since her arms and legs are occupied.

 

Yeah..... I lost patience... I never saw a boat in the back ground.... I'll keep trying though!

 

Maybe she's calling for someone to back her up

 

Here you can see newly weds and an old couple...

 

Since the global warming saga was finally sorted out, here's the next hot topic !

 

There are 800,000 aliens in Florida without proper documentations(that means they snuck in).

 

9 months later!!!





Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.



After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'



'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.



Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.


They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north
about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' Said Bob.

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said,'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

 

Knock, knock.