Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Jewish Logic...

Moshe is waiting on the platform at the station.
He notices a Jewish man standing nearby and asks him for the time.
But the man ignores him.
Moshe then asks him again, and the man responds in the same way.

Frustrated, Moshe asks 'Excuse me, but I've asked you for the time twice, why are you ignoring me'

Suddenly, the man looks up and says, 'We're both waiting for the train, if I answer you, then when we get on the train you will come and sit next to me, we will probably start talking, and I may invite you to my house for Shabbat, there you will meet my daughter, you will probably like her, you may eventually want to marry her, and to be honest with you, WHY WOULD I WANT A SON IN LAW WHO CAN'T AFFORD A WATCH?'

 

Robert Mugabe goes on a state visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and passes away. The undertaker tells the accompanying people, 'You can have him shipped home for US$500,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land , for just US$100.' The Zimbabweans go into a corner and discuss for a minute. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Mugabe shipped home. The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $500,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100? With the money you save you could buy enough diesel for a year, buy enough medicines to wipe out cholera, buy enough generators to never have blackouts again.' The Zimbabweans replied, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.
We just can't take that chance.'

 

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

 

I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside
the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car... and
you know how you just get sooo stressed and life seems to
get funny? Well, I could NOT believe it.. he was a DWARF!

He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"...

 

A man walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.

He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside.

Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute.

'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile hard on the top of its head.

The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his ******** unscathed as promised..

The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.

A blonde woman timidly Spoke up..........
'I'll try it -
Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle

 

Proof that you should never underestimate the creativeness of American boys for mischief.

With considering all the brilliant, devious minds we had in our high school......

I don't know how in the world, WE missed doing this !!!.......

At a high school in Montana , a group of students played a prank....they let three goats loose inside the school.

But before turning them loose, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2, and 4.

School Administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.......

 

global warming and climate change

Just read this on the news on line--was unable to cut and paste it.
Nasa study refutes UN and other data on their study data and models as a ten + year Nasa study shows heat released by CO-2 is ejected into space
and is not held in the atmosphere as models all represent. Headline was "Nasa blows a big hole in the global warming theories"

Anyone finding more about this please post it here. Thanks, Stan Further it said that "NASA says we will not experience global warming now or in the future".........................................WOW and another WOW... What say HOYT? What say Boston?

Thread >> http://www.boatdesign.net/forums/open-discussion/nasa-says-no-global-warming-39045.html




g

 

I think I'll post it on global cooling thread. Thanks for the heads up.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/nasa-data-blow-gaping-hold-global-warming-alarmism-192334971.html
so global warming is a joke so its fits on this thread

 

True, but my thread was feeling a little hungry. I don't feed it much.

 

The last Davos climate change sham was delayed because it was snowed out!!

 

It is going to be a very cold winter.

 

We should start generating some CO2. Who knows, it might help. I'll do my part if you do yours.

 

To all my drinking friends -

A new way to avoid alcohol issues while driving.

I went out with some friends last night and tied one on. Knowing that I was really wasted, I did something I have never done before ... I took the bus home.

I arrived home safe and warm -- which really surprised me, since I've never driven a bus before.

 

chile beat us all to the Co2 thingy and it didnt cost them too much but poor guys are going to have a huge tax bill for all that Co2