Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Along similar lines to the above two posts, I encountered this... Surely it must be a joke ???

Family Facing $4 Million in Fines for Selling Bunnies

By Bob McCarty http://biggovernment.com/bmccarty/2011/05/20/family-facing-4-million-in-fines-for-selling-bunnies/

About six years ago, the Dollarhites wanted to teach their teenage son responsibility and the value of the dollar. So they rescued a pair of rabbits and, before long, things were literally hopping on the three-acre homestead 30 miles south of Springfield, MO, and Dollarvalue Rabbitry was launched as more of a hobby than a business.

At first, some of the bunnies were raised and sold for their meat. Later, they determined it was more profitable to sell live bunnies at four weeks old than to feed bunnies for 12 weeks and then sell them as meat.

During the summer of 2009, the Dollarhites bought the rabbitry from their son who had grown tired of managing it. Things kept growing, however, and the Dollarhite's landed a pair of big accounts in 2009.

A well-known Branson theme park, Silver Dollar City, asked the Dollarhites to provide four-week-old bunnies each week to their petting zoo May through September. When the bunnies turned six weeks old, they were sold to park visitors. The local branch of a national pet store chain, Petland, purchased rabbits from the Dollarhites as well.

By the year's end, the Dollarhites had moved approximately 440 rabbits and grossed about $4,600.

Then some unexpected matters began demanding their attention.

In the fall of 2009, a female inspector from the U.S. Department of Agriculture showed up at the front door of the family home, wanting to do a "spot inspection" of their rabbitry. She said she had come across Dollarhite Rabbitry invoices while inspecting the petting zoo at Silver Dollar City.

"She did not tell us that we were in violation of any laws, rules, anything whatsoever," John said, explaining that the inspector said she just wanted to see what type of operation they had. Having nothing to hide or any reason to fear they were doing anything wrong, the Dollarhites allowed the inspection to proceed.

John's wife Judy took the inspector to the back of their property where the rabbits were raised. There, the inspector began running the width of her finger across the cage and told the Dollarhites they would need to replace the cage, because it was a quarter-inch too small and did not meet federal regulations.

Such a requirement came as a shock to the Dollarhites, because they had just invested in new cages to ensure the bunnies had a healthy amount of space to develop, John explained.

Not only was the cage too small, according to the inspector, but she noted a small rust spot on a feeder and cited it as being out of compliance. When the Dollarhites told the inspector that rabbit urine causes the cages to rust and that they worked hard to keep the rabbits cages in top shape, she told them it didn't matter. The rust spot would count as an infraction.

The inspection ended with the inspector telling Judy that the rabbits looked healthy and well cared for.

After the inspection, the Dollarhites didn't hear from the USDA again until January 2010 when they received a phone call from a Kansas City-based investigator from the USDA's Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service.

"He called us and said, 'I need to have a meeting with you and your wife,'" John recalled. He asked the investigator about the purpose of the meeting.

"Well, it's because you're selling rabbits and you've exceeded more than $500 dollars in a year," John said, "and I went, 'Okay, what does that have to do with anything?'"

John said the investigator refused to discuss details over the phone and made it clear that rejecting his request for a meeting would be a costly error in judgment.

When Judy asked if they should have an attorney present, the investigator responded, saying, "Well, that might be a good thing."

John found an attorney who is also a farmer. They met for the first time a couple of days later - at the same time both met the APHIS investigator at John's home.

"The first thing (the investigator) said was 'My name is so and so, I've been in the USDA for 30-plus years, and I've never lost a case,'" John recalled, continuing. "He said, 'I'm not here to debate the law, interpret the law, or discuss the law, I'm here just to do an investigation.'"

John said the investigator went on to explain that he would ask questions, write a report based on the answers, and send that report to his superiors at the USDA regional office in Colorado Springs, Colo. John was told to contact the regional office if he had not heard anything in six weeks.

Eight weeks passed, and John decided to call Colorado Springs. He was given the number to a USDA office in the nation's capitol. He called the new number, and the lady he reached there was blunt, John said.

"She said, 'Well, Mr. Dollarhite, I've got the report on my desk, and I'm just gonna tell you that, once I review it, it's our intent to prosecute you to the maximum that we can' and that 'we will make an example out of you.'"

When John once again tried to determine which law he and his wife had violated, he said the USDA lady replied, "We'll forward you everything."

"Ma'am, what law have we broken," [sic] John said.

The lady replied that there is a guideline that prohibits anyone from selling more than $500 worth of rabbits per year, John recalled, but she refused to cite any specific law and, instead, promised to send him the report containing details.

At that point, John said he called his attorney and was told not to worry about it, because he couldn't find evidence of any law or regulation the Dollarhites had violated.

Soon after the meeting with the APHIS investigator, and with the stress of the investigation hanging over their heads, John said he and his wife traded everything associated with the rabbit operation for other agricultural equipment.

At this point, consider the manner in which the Dollarhites conducted their operation:

- The business was carefully conducted on the property of their Missouri home;

- The business complied with all applicable state laws;

- The bunnies were kept in large, clean, well-maintained cages; and

- Not a single bunny was sold across state lines.

Recently, the Dollarhites received a "Certified Mail Return Receipt" letter from the USDA informing them that they had broken the law and must pay USDA a fine of $90,643. The fine equals more than $206 per rabbit.

Their crime? Violating 9 C.F.R. § 2.1 (a) (1): Selling more than $500 worth of rabbits in a calendar year.

In addition, the letter contains the following statement:

APHIS laws and regulations provide for administrative and criminal penalties to enforce these regulatory requirements, including civil penalties of up to $10,000 for each of the violations documented in our investigation.

If the threat contained in the letter is to be believed, the family could be fined as much as $10,000 per rabbit beyond the first 50 bunnies that netted the family its first $500. Do the math (390 rabbits x $10,000 each) and, if they don't pay the initial fine, they could face additional fines totaling $3.9 million.

Needless to say, the Dollarhites stopped selling rabbits in January 2010 and are considering setting up a legal defense fund.

 

Something's missing in that story. There's a rabbit farm off the Pearblossom Highway in California that's been there for at least twenty years, and I don't think they're staying in business on sales of less than $500 a year.

 

Maybe the business was not "registered" somewhere that it should have been - Just so ridiculous that I thought it had to be a joke?

 

9CFR 2.1 (a) (1) states that...

Section (a) (3) (ii) states that:

If they were indeed selling rabbits in excess of $500 per calendar year without a license, then yes, they were in violation of federal law.


Source: http://edocket.access.gpo.gov/cfr_2003/9cfr2.1.htm

 

Wholly malarkey, That is a joke too, SURELY ???

But then again Australia's bureaucrats demonstrate a capacity for similar levels of idiotic ruling / behaviour / decision-making that belies any credibility or the existence of any functioning cells within their head cavities...

 

Mmmm, Hamster au gratin!

- and so your honor it is clear that the hamster was not dead after all!

 

As long as we're on the path of government humor, let me offer this one.

 

Hi SheetWise, look above http://www.boatdesign.net/forums/op...-we-need-few-laughs-14472-344.html#post465433 "About six years ago, the Dollarhites wanted to teach their teenage son......."

 

I caught that later -- thanks, Same case, different perspective.

 

Are the feds actually seeking $90,000 in fines, or is that just the theoretical amount that could be levied if they're charged the maximum for every single infraction--as in, "they could be fined up to $10,0000 per day for each charge," or whatever?

I've gotten used to seeing stories where news outlets breathlessly tell us a defendant "could be facing up to 432 years in prison if convicted on all counts," then finding out later he got six months in the country jail instead.... because most of the charges were dropped, and he didn't receive the maximum on the remaining counts.

 

What should scare you is that the government has that much latitude and discretion in levying a penalty for a somewhat innocuous infraction. This is why public prosecutors are the most dangerous people in modern society -- they can choose whether or not to file charges, and if they do -- they have such a wide range of options. It's scary, and continually getting worse. I recommend reading Three Felonies a Day or Go Directly to Jail to get an understanding of how far we have already traveled down the road to serfdom.

 

Fellow peons, surfs and other forms of slavery, Welcome to the "new social order"... The joke is on us, for seeking more and more 'services' and accepting so much "nanny legislation"... (Legislation ostensibly designed to care for us and save us from having to think and plan...)

That is the prime reason for my escape from the big-brother existence being imposed on most "western, democratic government" countries... I am escaping from massive societal debt which forces us all into bureaucratic compliance & consequent economic slavery...

I hope I will be able to say, "I am free and unrestrained and I am laughing..."

 

And now back to some humor ...

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Court: Is there any reason why you couldn't serve as a juror in this case?

Potential Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.

Court: Can't they do without you at work?

Potential Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know that.

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Attorney: When he went -- had you gone -- and had she -- if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go -- gone also -- would he have brought you -- meaning you and she -- with him to the station?

Opposing Counsel: Objection your Honor! That question ought to be taken out and shot.

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Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

Court: And why is that?

Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.

Court (addressing the public defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?

Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.

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Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?

Witness: He said, "Where am I Cheryl?"

Attorney: And why did that upset you?

Witness: My name is Kathy.

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Attorney: And where was the location of the accident?

Witness: Approximately milepost 499.

Attorney: And where is milepost 499?

Witness: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

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Attorney: Officer, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: Did the defendant say anything to you when she got out of her car?

Witness: Yes sir.

Attorney: What did she say to you?

Witness: She said, "What disco am I at?"

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Attorney: Did you blow your horn or anything?

Witness: After the accident?

Attorney: Before the accident.

Witness: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

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Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Witness: Yes, I have been since early childhood.

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Attorney: What is your date of birth sir.

Witness: July 17th.

Attorney: What year?

Witness: Every year.

 

What would scare me even more would be for them to have no discretion: to have mandatory guidelines for bringing charges and handing out sentences or fines that that they follow blindly, regardless of circumstances.

 

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.

The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.

Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.

PM: The psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.

PM: You're an FBI agent?

Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.

PM: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

PM: And you say you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?

PM: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?

Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.

PM: How are you going to pay for all of this?

Agent: I have my checkbook right here.

PM: And you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

Pizza Man: I don't think so. <Click>