Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Redtick,

I am not a muslim nor an Arab, just an expat but I can say most of of the things you stated are not correct, Be careful there, it is not funny.

 

rxcomposite. This is an international website and this is the jokes thread. Not all humour appeals to everyone.
Something has to be the subject of the humour otherwise humour ceases to exist.

My suggestion is, if you don't like the subject of the humour move on without comment or, don't read the thread.

 

The facts are wrong. There is no humor in it.

 

Humor that is offensive to a significant percentage of the world's population, Muslim or not, it hardly appropriate.

 

rxcomposite is correct, it is an offensive post - I was trying to soften the impact but I think I failed to do that. However it does have some humor and it is certainly not as offensive as killing people because some guy thousands of miles away burned a book . . .

It is a fact that in general jokes aimed at Christians earn a tolerant chuckle as opposed to screams of rage. However that would not have been true a few hundred years ago. perhaps Islam and its adherents need a little more time to mature.

Moslems as a whole have put far more energy into being feared than into being understood and it seems to be paying off.

 

As I am a Christian, I read and see a lot of offensive material about my religion. I can laugh along with others about a lot of it and I let the other slide.

But to raise a question about what I say in jest, paints a bad picture of you.

 

How about we all follow the golden rule and "Do unto others as we would have them do unto us"? Personally, I only turn the other cheek once. I think it is insulting to God to kill innocents in His name, even if they believe differently.

The pirates aren't innocent; nor are their refuges. Level them.

Let the peaceful live in peace.

No joke.

 

Humor that is offensive to a significant percentage of the world's population, Muslim or not, it hardly appropriate.

Oh -- I don't know if that's true ...

Almost every good joke involves some halfwit or dimwit adding to the humor, and they actually represent a majority.

Lighten up Francis.

 

Alright, I'm as bad as anyone but isn't it time we gave a nod to the forum rules and got off religion ... ?

 

OK.

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Priest walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"

 

Im with Pioda

I would say that half of all jokes ever told, has religious overtures of some sort. If one find a joke where any of the following are present; a priest, pastor, christian, wynand, rabbi, Muslim, jew, v/d merwe, terrorist etc etc, and you can not handle the heat, take heed or just ignore...

Religion is like racism, its not supposed to be there but it is there for all to see in black and white with shades in between. You are not supposed to call a black man a black, but the same can call a white man a white (whitey and other slang) and that is no sin.
Example, a man ***** a woman and the police release the following;
1. looking for male, 20's tall with red Tshirt and demim:?:
What is wrong by saying it like it is;
2. looking for a black male, 20's with quite large afro hairstyle - suspect also has an extreme wide and flat nose with large lips, wearing red Tshirt and denim, or
3. Looking for a white male, 20's with quite long brown hair - suspect also has an extreme long "hawk like" nose with thin lips, wearing red Tshirt and denim.

However, when you do that, you are racist, but at least everyone would know who to look out for.
In my country this is a big problem and when asked by police on news to be on the lookout for suspects, you get the first example. No wonder we hit the tops of the pops with crime in the world......and even TV advertisements must have different race groups present - sometimes the result is so idiotic that one distance yourself from the product advertised.....

Religion is very much the same. Best jokes I know is in fact based on religion and racism (politics), especially in my country.

As for Redtic's post, heck, most of the issues are true and a laugh to others outside that sphere.
In fact, I stay about 1.5km from a mosque smack in the middle in the suburbs (mainly christian area), and believe it or not, I can hear from my house, especially a nuisance when quite - the all must listen to the crap dished up by some looney on the loudspeaker - that imposing a religion upon others and that is not funny or a joke.

Back to jokes; anyone know some good Osama Bin Laden ones??

 

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blterrorattack.htm

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbinladenjokes.htm

"The latest report is that Osama bin Laden has shaved his beard, is wearing Western clothes and has had plastic surgery. Isn't that amazing? The guy has made just two videos and he's already gone Hollywood." —Jay Leno

 

Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

"Uncle Sam" (a former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out -- virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

 

we all take things the wrong way from time to time be the subject religion, heritage or whatever. Given that a version of the Golden rule exists in pretty much all of the Judeo-christian religions ( which includes Islam ) then I'd just suggest we bury the hatchet and call it all in good fun with no harm intended.


What's a pirate's favorite socks? Arrrrgyle.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burying_the_hatchet

"Bury the hatchet is an American English colloquialism meaning "to make peace." The phrase is an allusion to the figurative or literal practice of putting away the tomahawk at the cessation of hostilities among or by Native Americans in the Eastern United States, specifically concerning the formation of the Iroquois Confederacy and in Iroquois custom in general. Weapons were to be buried or otherwise cached in time of peace."

Not many people know that Edison was a avid fisherman.
He usually included some trout fishing in his infrequent
vacations. During one such trip to the west he was
befriended by an Indian tribe. They provided free room
and board, as well as expert fishing guides for his stay.

On his first night he discovered that the only sanitary
facility was an old-fashioned outhouse. To make things
worse it had no light even though the village had electricity
in the homes.

As a thank-you gift for their kindnesses, Edison purchased
the necessary materials and personally installed lighting
in the Indians privvy. He thus became the first person to
wire a head for a reservation.