Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

    She probably looked better than this one:
     

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  2. ancient kayaker
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    - I remember Bessie Braddock MP and it's a close-run thing.
     
  3. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

    Too true, and a socialist to boot...if only.
     

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  4. cthippo
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    cthippo Senior Member

    Churchill: Would you sleep with me for a million pounds?
    Woman: Perhaps
    Churchill: How about 5 pounds?
    Woman: Mr. Churchill! What kind of a woman do you think I am?
    Churchill: We've already established that, now we're just haggling over price.

    Someone is probably going to correct my attribution, but that's OK

    Two atoms were having a conversation one day.
    The first said "Hey man, you're looking really down"
    The second says "I am, I lost en electron yesterday."
    The first one says "Are you sure?"
    The second says "I'm positive!"
     
  5. DaS Energy
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    Location: Gold Coast

    DaS Energy Junior Member

    A turd was making its way out to sea and upon passing a snapper said hello mr snapper lovely morning. The snapper just ignored the greeting and continued on its way. Next day the same turd passed the snapper again, but this time it was being reeled in, so the turd allways polite said hello mr snapper, see you will be one of us in the morning.
     
  6. ancient kayaker
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    cthippo - that one is from Shaw I think.
     
  7. srimes
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    Location: Oregon

    srimes Senior Member

    Do y'all know how to catch a polar bear? First you cut a hole in the ice big enough for him. Then you get a can of peas and place 'em all around the edge of the hole. Then hide and wait for him, and when he comes over to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!
     
  8. DaS Energy
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    Location: Gold Coast

    DaS Energy Junior Member

    Young bloke's boat sank leaving him on a deserted island for years, then one morning he was looking out sea and saw a passenger liner has spotted his signal fire and was lowering a boat. As he sat there fantasising about all the poeople who would want to make freinds and the lovely ladies who would want to get realy close he looked down upon an enormous errection, so he quickly grabbed hold of it and said hah fooled you again.
     
  9. Fanie
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children A
    blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they
    find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
    onto the bus.

    So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
    husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
    he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece
    of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
    crazy.'

    The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR
    stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'
     
  10. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

    Good one! :)
     
  11. srimes
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    Location: Oregon

    srimes Senior Member

    Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    A: No eye deer.




    Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    A: Still no eye deer.





    Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs having sex?

    A: Still no ******* eye deer.
     
  12. cthippo
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    cthippo Senior Member

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

    Beer nuts and $1.89 and deer nuts and alway under a buck!
     
  13. rasorinc
    Joined: Nov 2007
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    Location: OREGON

    rasorinc Senior Member

    A test to see if Boston still has a since of humor as he anguishes over what hull to build or buy.
    A young brave asks his father how young braves get their names? The father replys that when he enters the Tee-Pee to see his new child, he picks up the child and takes him out of the tent and the first thing he see's he names the child after that. That is way we have names for Braves like Roaring Bear, Running Deer, Flying Arrow, Fighting Brave. But why do
    you ask Two Dogs F**King???
     
  14. DaS Energy
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    Location: Gold Coast

    DaS Energy Junior Member

    God said to Adam I know things have been a bit rough on your own so I will make a women for you, but she must never bath in the sea. All went well untill Adam was startled to see Eve swimming about, and hearing Gods voice booming down, !'ll never get the smell out of the fish.
     
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  15. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    I got arrested again for punching my wife.The cop asked why I keep beating her,and I said I think it's my weight advantage, superior footwork and my longer arm reach.
     
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