Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Tell me when I can take my hands off my eyes.

 

Skip the next two posts... then.

 

post turtle #1

 

post turtle #2

 

That picture pretty much sums up how things where for me in my last job .....

 

Yet I am sure you rose to the occasion!

 

I was just hanging there

 

How did you get such a high position ?

 

I was shafted up high by top management ....

 

By quite an object too it seems !

 

The long arm of the management ....

 

Audio Joke ...

 

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter
and sees that it's filled to the brim with R10 notes He guesses there
must be at least ten thousand rand in it. He approaches the bartender

and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?" "Well...,you pay R10,

and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the

keys to a brand new Mercedes."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the
three tests?" "You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the
rules." So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender R10
which he stuffs into the jar.
Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole bottle of tequila, in 60 seconds or less,
and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second, - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth.
You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never
had $3x. You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned! "I know I paid my R10 -- but I'm

not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink

a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays

where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,
"Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he
can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a

face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull

chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud

growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then

nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he
staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and

he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.

He drunkenly says,

"Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

 

A Sunday School teacher was telling the children that God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny became fascinated when the teacher told him how Eve was made out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later that week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were in pain, and asked, Johnny, what's the matter sweetie? Little Johnny replied, "I have a pain in my side! I think I'm going to have a wife!"

 

For one of those...the pain was in the wrong spot!