Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

ROFL is an internet accronmym for Rolling On Floor Laughing, and like all things internet it has adapted to nerd culture and has taken on new real-life use, though usually in a satirical way. ROFL can be merged with other accronyms to created super l33t acronyms that "r0x0r y0ur b0x0rs" per se. Some examples of the merged accronyms are as follows: ROFLAARP: Rolling On Floor Looking At Assorted Rodent *********** or ROFLEW: Rolling On Floor Laughing whilst Eating Waffles

 

Ymmvilsh!

 

... PML!

 

Oldie but Goldie

12 of the finest double-entendres that have been aired on British TV & Radio

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely
horse. I once rode her mother.'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't
that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team
Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's
that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so
hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North
said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
like this.'

10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky
Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he
gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come
in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

 

I'm waiting for Fanie's response to #12 with bated breath ...

 

Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy?

 

-paralysed myself laughing!

 

I went on a self catering holiday this year. Won't do it again though - food was terrible

 

ROFLCOPTER

 

****,

I thought I would probably invite you for some days off here in the warm Mediterranian sun. (When you are in Europe anyway)

But I have already a cook with similar abilities...

Can you open cans?








...well he too.

 

are the cans sealed with epoxy?

 

i was typing the same comment .... guess that says a lot about out minds doesnt it ...

so was it ?

 

It is not all Epoxy I can talk:

http://www.boatdesign.net/forums/bo...er-style-within-genre-34092-9.html#post390963

http://www.boatdesign.net/forums/marketplace/57-ft-passagemaker-trawler-sale-33939.html

And I owned a Aluminium boat too.........


that did fit with the cans.........









.....the beer cans.

 

After years of research, scientists have discovered that women do not like the standard mouse supplied with PCs.


Scientists found that there is no physical reason for their aversion; it is more of a psychological problem.


Some women reported that their mouse 'just didn't feel right' in their hands.

Based on the research, a new mouse has been designed especially for women.

Various field tests have been carried out on the new design:



Chantelle from Roodepoort said:-
'It feels so much better. More comfortable, more like how it's supposed to be.'

Wendy from Discovery added:-
'I think mice were originally designed just for men, but this new type is definitely made for women.

It fits right in with my lifestyle.'

Susan from Pretoria said:-
'I took to it like a duck to water, every woman should have one!'

Tanya from Lindhaven said:
"It feels so natural."

 

Aparently they're working on a new joystick on the moment.