Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Of which Mas?:?:

 

What can one say

 

with words

 

With a picture

 

I think Pericles post number was 2532? then you takes your pick - not into "true confessions"

 

It wasn't about joking. According the the article they hit a guy in a nightclub who died. Sounds about right to me. If you commit a crime in another country you can stand trial there, and if he's guilty then hang him on the nearest tree.

 

ten points.............

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to RHP again. otherwise....

 

I have the same problem. How much must one give away before it works again anyway... I'm giving to the electronics and mechanical forum guys also and it didn't help

 

So this guy was going out with a catholic girl. It was starting to get serious so he agreed when she invited him to join her at church. He was a bit nervous because he had never been to church in his life but she said to just follow her lead and it would be OK.

All went well until he was kneeling and the little cushion got lost. The floor was hard. He was groping around when the girl whispered "What's the matter? Is your zip undone?"

He said "No. Is it supposed to be?"

 

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.

She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.

He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large,
silverback gorilla.

Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and
holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with
his free hand.

He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink Dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.

He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering
her lips and wiggling her bottom.

She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that
would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a
little more skin.

She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.

"Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.

This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung
her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.

"Now. Tell HIM you have a headache."

 

Dont be nasty Mas, ALL points for me please, form an orderley queue....

 

I gave, I gave - - look at me all gaunt and drained... Wallet empty, bank accounts dry and the very blood in my veins has been sucked out...

 

Talking about birthdays...

 

Bloody hell ! You're going to LOVE this one !!!

PRETORIA. The South African government has confirmed that the country's tiny pool of taxpayers can expect a 9 percent increase in income tax and yet another 0 percent increase in the services they receive for their money. According to a spokesman, the extra revenue would be spent on ministerial safety, ministerial legal aid, and ministerial take-out.

According to the South African Revenue Service there are 5.3 million taxpayers in the country, however, just 1.2 million of these pay 75 percent of all tax collected.

According to government tax advisor Caesar Augustus Dipoko, the situation was unsustainable.

"The ANC government is all about delivery," he explained. "Delivery of pizzas and KFC buckets to ministerial residences; delivery of customized BMWs to ministerial garages; delivery of airline tickets to MPs; delivery of brown paper bags full of non-sequential unmarked US dollars to arms dealers.

"If only 1 million people are footing the bill for these nation-building investments, we might soon have to start thinking the unthinkable."

Asked if was referring to mass emigration by middle-class taxpayers, economic collapse and civil war, Dipoko said he was in fact referring to ministers having to drive Japanese cars and shopping at Checkers.

"Next thing you'll be expecting them to send their kids to state schools!" he laughed.

He explained that the ANC could not tolerate a "cynical and racist onslaught on our hard-won freedom to spend other people's money", and would therefore be raising income tax by 9 percent.

He said that the 9 percent hike would come with the customary zero percent hike in services, which currently number zero.

However, he had words of encouragement for the 5 million South Africans who subsidize the other 45 million.

"If you feel resentful at having to pay income tax and get nothing in return for it except veiled racial threats of class wars from our Education Minister, then perhaps consider that you're not actually paying income tax," he said.

"Income tax is a tax you pay in return for certain services. So by definition you're not paying income tax.

"Perhaps just consider it a compulsory contribution to nation building."