Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Sorry Frosty... I see the pun but, I just don't get excited about cute little girls having pythons & cussing.

Again, sorry Alan... I actually believe in God and can't see heaven providing a sinner with the sins of his dreams (Divine Nymphs) as a reward of whatever kind. This kind of joke (to me) is er-rational.

Hope I'm not being a nincompoop... but, I am who I am.

However, Pepsi ala Italy............ Wow... that was good

 

You're forgiven. All of us are nincompoops once in a while. Humor is about nincompoop ideas carried to irrational lengths in order to create paradoxes.
Paradoxes are valuable because only by juxtaposing our inner conflicts do we transcend them. The laughter is the pleasurable release of those inner conflicts.
For instance, I'd expected at the very worst that no one would like the joke enough to comment. Yet, paradoxically...
Did you ever see that movie, "Man in the Moon"? True life story about a comedian who carried jokes beyond the usual limits expected by the audience.
In one scene in the movie (and this was based on real events), the comedian is onstage and he invites an elderly woman in the audience onstage. She is apparently a well known former child actress who climbs up onstage to be presented with a duplicate version of a hobby horse she'd ridden in a famous movie scene decades back.
She's invited, for the sake of a bit of nostalgic fun, to sit once again astride the famed hobby horse, which she does in the spirit of the moment.
The hobby horse is mechanical, and it begins to rock back and forth to the delight of the audience. She beams as the horse is put into motion.
Now the comedian turns his back to her and faces the audience, speaking loudly and carrying on for a few moments. Unbeknownst to him, but obvious to the audience, is that something is wrong with the speed mechanism on the horse. While the comedian faces the audience, oblivious to the problem, the speed escalates, the old woman hanging on for all she's worth.
This goes on for what seems like forever, the comedian smiling anmd joking, the audience gradually becoming more and more agitated, the hobby horse moving at impossible speeds, jerking the frail geriatric beyond her human ability to hold on.
Finally, to the audience's horror, the woman is driven to a heat attack, falling to the stage floor.
Now the comedian discovers the situation that's been going on behind his back.
"Is there a doctor in the house?" he cries.
A doctor anounces himself and climbs the stage. He examines the woman and declares her dead.
Thje place is in an uproar. But in a moment, the woman revives and stands up smiling. She'd been in on the joke all along.

I don't think that joke wasn't funny just because I have a mom.

Alan

 

Alan White I'll have you know that my Mother actually died while riding a rocking horse and I do not find that funny.

Poida

 

I wish I could say something clever like what Berg did . If I ever could, it would have been exactly like that.

Talk about hitting the nail on the head in so few words.

Some body should save that and put it in a book or something.

I personally would thouroughly enjoy a gentlemans converstaion on religion or the bible etc.

Should there be one??

 

A Tennesee Walker? I should have added it was a Tennasee Walker. Most rocking horses are Palaminos. I just assumed the Tennesee Walker was a safe bet. I should have said so. Your mother surely died on a Palamino.
Otherwise, I am so sorry to have offended you.

 

Why not? How can we end up killing each other and eating each other's hearts raw over the internet? I'm using a fake name, and I imagine most everyone else is too. Let's do it!

 

Alan you are not at all taking me seriously.

OK,OK she didn't die on a rocking horse, but she did die and it was by only by chance it wasn't on a rocking horse. Otherwise I would have been upset.

Anyway we have Brumbies here and you have to be a real man to break in a Brumby Rocking Horse. Sometimes you have to bring in the Rocking Horse Whisperer.

This is horse $hit.

Poida

 

So whos going to start a religion thread.
I dont think it should be me.
Im not that well in with the management.

Alan-??

 

Boat jokes...

Here's the secret Alan...I award them to myself when Jeff's not looking....

 

I'm not sure who you mean by "management", Frosty. But I'm sure He has forgiven your tresspasses.

It was your idea. Besides, Jeff doesn't trust me because I talk to certain questionable characters.
Just don't start speaking in tongues and writhing, or biting off snake heads and you'll be fine. Once you testify, I'll saunter in and drop a few bombshells.

 

Collaboration?

"Great post! Give us more!"

"Better post! You've outdone yourself!"

"Oh no! You've outdone ME once again. I defer."

"Brillant response! Truly, you are a remarkable man!"

"I am nothing. Let me explain that with another point!"

"Too kind! You're giving Gandhi a run, I daresay!"

"I thought YOU were Gandhi, if that last comment on paint remover is any indication!

"Nothing close to that comment you just wrote on constipation at sea! Allow me to thank you!"

"You're great!"

"No! You are!"

"You!"

"You, I insist!"

 

Listen guys threres not much joke telling going on so we gotta get outa here and do something or tell jokes --with boats in it.

Alan Great post should have been on the drivel thread though.

I though we were for a second I had to check.

 

Thanks Frosty, but your post was far better. Good work!--- Alan

 

Come on Alan get this religious thing going!! I cant wait.

By the way have you looked at evilbible.com good entertainment

 

That wouldnt be rocking horse **** would it by any chance because that is very rare stuff and is probably worth a fortune.

Ive had close relatives die and friends and children. It doesnt bother me for some strange reason. We are all going, just at different times.

Like an escalator going up--or going down, when your on it theres no getting off. They just went before we did thats all.

It makes me look after myself better.