Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

sorry, maybe I failed.........?

I think that was me:?: At least it is possible that I did that inadvertently.
I don´t know how to give or take reputation points, but find it out and correct my mistakes, if there are any.
BTW I am not from Turkey nor from China, in case my IP is visible, but I am doing business in Istanbul at present. I would´nt bother anyone here.
Don´t take comments too serious it´s still the BOATJOKE thread:idea:
Richard

 

No Fanie.......not EVERYTHING ................
but explain CHINA please........??? We bloody Germans translate that:
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/China

or: ...porcelain...

Regards
Richard

 

Maybe not EVERYTHING but close. It looks like I'm going to have to do this every time, so yet again...

china has nothing to do with China. It's the slang for 'buddy' or mate or something like that.

'Howzit my china ! Did you bring the dop ek se '

Porcelain ? Since when are the germans into tea like the English ? That's only for the English dainty gents, we here do not associate well with it. I guess we're too barbaric for that being in Africa and all. No culture to mention, it seems to change with each new cell phone model that comes out.

 

Ahhh..................:idea:

Since when are the germans into tea like the English:?: :?: :?:
Longer!
The Friesian (Dutch and northern German) imported the stuff and used it before the brit´s did know it exists.

Thanks for getting me updated!:idea:
Richard

 

We recently towed an Icelandic fishing boat with machinery problems into our local harbour.When the boats were safely tied up against the harbour wall, I took a walk across to see if I could lend a hand.
I says to the Icelandic Skipper'I'm a boat mechanic,do you want me to take a look and see if I can sort the problem?'
'Ya,go ahead' he replies.
So I take the top off the engine box and there is thick black engine oil spread all over the engine space,it is literly dripping off the deckhead.
'Jezz'I said'It looks like you've just blown a seal in there.'
He replies
'Vell at least ve don't sh-g sheep you Velsh b-----d, vhat's wrong vith the engine' ?

 

So that is where the "kiwi" inclination comes from - - Wales.... did you all teach them how to make a ewe turn? and bare/bear the whether?

 

Kiwi,Aussie,you antipodians are all the same to me !! And it's not an inclination,it's a way of life!!.On a serious note,I was in Oz this time last year,you've got an awesome country containing some fantastic people.You are very lucky to live there.
Two Irish guys on an aeroplane on the way to a boating holiday.Paddy turns to Murphy and say's'Murphy,If this plane turns over,will we fall out ??'Murphy replies'Paddy,we were in school together,I'm your daughters Godfather,why should we fall out over a little thing like that'??

 

Nah - vastly different accent ya drongo...

 

Ohhhh thats like confusing Wales with England!

​

 

Dydw i ddim anghofio !!

 

Only we didn't really do anything nasty to the K 1's .... they just like to hate us

 

So Aussies, in good humour reciprocate with equal friendship hehehe

When the "all blacks" come to Blighty of some such, and do their "intimidation" barbeque dance, tell the opposing team to reciprocate with similar moves but use the words of that famous nursery Rhyme "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall" it has the same (same scan or whatever the poets call it so should work well together)..... - - - DARE YA and post the results on UTube...... WWW3 in a teacup :????

 

Oh... I've been sitting on the headland shooting at anything flying a Kiwi flag! Mebe I should stop that :?:

 

Has this one arrived here before - Sorry it is not a boat joke. Just funny.

Rick W

 

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

how you turn a fox into an elephant.
Marry her!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.


And one for the Afrikaans okes... sorry, no can translate...

Kallie sien Gerrie sukkel met blokkies-raaisel...

Kallie: Waarmee sukkel jy so?

Gerrie: Vroulike geslags orgaan,

vier letters,

tweede letter "o".

Kallie: dwars of af?

Gerrie: dwars

Kallie: mond!