Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

There is apparantly a true case of a Taiwanese billionare just landed at his house in his helecopter. His little angel came running out to see him probably shouting daddy daddy or something. He also swooped her up and held her in the air,--he should have waited till the rotor had stopped.

 

Jumpin' Jehosephat Frosty!...this thread is supposed to be about humour.

That is a horrible story.

 

In a sick sort of way I could see some (not me) may have seen some humour?

 

No I dont see humour in it , it is a horrible story, I just wanted to let you know about the dangers of playing with children near helecoptors.

I never do it.

 

Ahhhhhhhhh now I see the joke??? ??? did I miss something in translation?

 

Thanks Tug,

I needed that

 

You can say " ide love too darling but the ole hemeroids are playing up a bit, would you mind terribly if I was excused from pushing the garden roller around today please"

This is probably the reason you got them in the first place, especially pushing up hill.

Then as she turns her head to continue the washing up you quietly ask her if you may have permission to sit on the cold garden wall for a minute or two before continuing with your chores,-- making sure you whimper slighty when lifting your ankle chains up for comfort.

If that dont soften her up then you in trouble mate.

 

boat joke-more of a lawyer joke

The stylin' lawyer was just prepping his perfectly restored Herreshoff 39 footer off the dock, laying some steaks and prawns into the fridge when a small explosion occurred.

The marina's security guard came running to check it out, only to find a grisly sight-- the lawyer was face-down in the galley, his left arm blown off to a bloody stump. The lawyer was still conscious, moaning, "Oh, no, my Herreshoff...." over and over.

"Buddy", the guard said, "if I were you, I'd be more worried about that arm"...

The lawyer looked over to where his arm had been. "****!.........my Rolex!"

 

Brilliant explanation there Frosty, but you can wimper all you want. If you're married for more than 5 years they don't give a ****. In fact one get the impression they want you to kick the bucket, but slowly and the more the suffer the more they like it.

Besides, it's easier to just say bugger that, I'm not doing it.

 

Or go down to the local and think about it with all the nubile 19 year olds that will give Manie a hard time...

 

I think it's a case of misperception. Manie is having a hard time because the 19 year old's doesn't think they should do dishes, wash clothes, make food, bring beer. They have other things on their minds, and it's not to talk or think about, but to do

 

My deepest sympathies - about time daughter was married and out of the parental hair? - - - Join the ranks of the "empty nesters" and spend the inheritance they thought they might get...

 

This is no joke, but it could put a smile on some faces - do not overlook the "used / Commercial category... http://yachthub.com/ then click <boats for sale> on the left hand side of the screen then <used boats> and then select your category and size profile - enjoy...

 

Guts And Diesel

Hello...

Fish gut and diesel are the best things to shut the wife up and leave you alone - seems to be a come at now - from the poofies - how the F'uck do they find the working mans drinking hole...

Must be the Internet I think...

I used to build 140 footers - now they scoff me off to fish boats - but here - this one - built in 1988 - F'cking amazing - this engineer is tops - every F'cking bolt covered in Silver anti seize - pop it off - stick in new gaskets - wrench it home - THAT IS RARE - bit of us vs. them - wink wink...

Is your wife a goer' - does she like sport...

SH.

 

boat jokes

This is not a joke but a great find. I went into a hardware store today, one of the old style ones where the owner only knows where everything is. No signs or similar things on the same isle just everything everywhere and you have to dig for it.
I found a great tool and I'm as excited as hell about it. This is the find of the year and I'm almost giggly about it. It will save me tons of time and I cannot wait to use it. Wish I had found it 50 years ago.....I just gotta go out in the shop and try it out. See ya.