Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. masalai
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: cruising, Australia

    masalai masalai

    RHP Your average per post is very high so by the time you are my age you will be a millionaire.... :D
     
  2. Sean Herron
    Joined: May 2004
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    Location: Richmond, BC, CA.

    Sean Herron Senior Member

  3. masalai
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: cruising, Australia

    masalai masalai

  4. the1much
    Joined: Jul 2007
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    Location: maine

    the1much hippie dreams

    brain

    > Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration and explanation:











    [​IMG]







    Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

    Luckily a man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.
     
  5. Butch .H
    Joined: Apr 2008
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    Location: South Africa

    Butch .H Senior Member

    Hey! Much long time how’s the neck
     
  6. the1much
    Joined: Jul 2007
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    Location: maine

    the1much hippie dreams

    its still attached to my shoulders,,,,,barely hehe ;) .. thankies fer askin,,, hows your projects commin along?
     
  7. Butch .H
    Joined: Apr 2008
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    Location: South Africa

    Butch .H Senior Member

    I think it would be easier to pull my eyes out than rebuild this boat but fun any way,Going good:D
     
  8. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    So I guess one could say Jim is ok from the shoulders on downwards :D
     
  9. bntii
    Joined: Jun 2006
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    Location: MD

    bntii Senior Member

    Why did the chicken cross the road?..............................

    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
    change! The chicken wanted change!

    JOHN MCCAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
    the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
    other side of the road.

    SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk about that,
    let's talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a
    middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a
    massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and Canadian
    chickens we have to keep an eye on.

    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
    chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
    - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance
    it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
    just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
    chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
    satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken...What is your
    definition of crossing?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
    against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
    chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
    he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
    this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his
    life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
    have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see
    it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
    the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain... alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
    truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
    chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we
    boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
    whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That
    chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
    told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
    in peace.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
    move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. masalai
    Joined: Oct 2007
    Posts: 6,823
    Likes: 121, Points: 0, Legacy Rep: 1882
    Location: cruising, Australia

    masalai masalai

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? - - - a couple, but I guess other posters will add them in due course... :D:D:D:D:D
     
  11. DGreenwood
    Joined: Aug 2004
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    Location: New York

    DGreenwood Senior Member

    Man Woman control panel..jpg

    Need I say more???
     
  12. DGreenwood
    Joined: Aug 2004
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    Location: New York

    DGreenwood Senior Member

    100_1817.JPG

    This is my daughters rendition of the male brain...drawn at age seven. I don't have to tell you that she is a handful at age 20. I do not greet her boyfriends with a shotgun...I greet the poor ******** with respect and pity.
     
  13. masalai
    Joined: Oct 2007
    Posts: 6,823
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    Location: cruising, Australia

    masalai masalai

    DGreenwood, I like that analogy - - more things to play with hehehe
     
  14. DGreenwood
    Joined: Aug 2004
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    Location: New York

    DGreenwood Senior Member

    Yup---no doubt they come equipped with much cooler toys than us...at least I think they're pretty cool?...but tuning them just right is still an art form and not to be underestimated.
     

  15. Fanie
    Joined: Oct 2007
    Posts: 4,603
    Likes: 174, Points: 63, Legacy Rep: 2484
    Location: Colonial "Sick Africa"

    Fanie Fanie

    I was at a friends when their three year old girl ran up to him. He swooped her up and said aren't they little angels ?

    I said yes, but at a certain age they change into dragons. He thought for a while, then agreed :D
     
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