Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

AN EMAIL FROM THE WIFE, BE SURE AND READ THE 'PS' AT THE END OF THIS EMAIL

To my darling husband, before you return from your business trip I just wanted to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the drive way, not too bad, and fortunately I didn't get hurt, so please try not to worry so much about me. I was coming home from Wal Mart and when I turned into the drive, I accidentally pushed the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent, but fortunately the pick up came to a halt when it hit your car. I am sorry, but I know with your kind hearted personality and love, you will forgive me. You know how much I love you. I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife xoxoxoxo




P.S. Your Girlfriend Called!

 

Whoops!


the moral of the story is "don't give your girlfriend your landline number - and take your mobile with you" My trouble is when I can't be reached on the mobile it diverts to the home number - guess it might just be an idea to change that!

 

i wont give my phone # to either my wife or my girlfriend,,,,,hahahaha

 

So that's what happens?

 

T G I F

Another hour to go and i can start working on my boat:idea:

Bloody marvelous - i actually look forwards to weekends now

No more house and garden **** for this old fart

anyway Sefriku will keep the world amused - with our next President coming along rather handsomely all the saffas out there can have a giggle he he he

have a brandy and coke yeah man

 

Hi Manie, Good to see you "enjoying life to the fullest"

 

Hi Fanie, I am waiting for Lovely Lady (an Indian) to arrive - I will show her your LL with the "reset button" - - should get a reaction - - hope it does not hurt too much/long after I am hit....

 

Mas DONT do it, you are looking for beeeeeeeeg ****

 

Dark but funny toon's Manie..

 

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights Each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks
he's pushing himself too hard, So for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club
greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled And asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual And brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I
recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'
A stripper then comes over to their table, Throws her arms around Bob, Starts to rub herself all over him and says,
'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
Bob's wife, now furious, Grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a
cab. Before she can slam the door, He jumps in beside her.
Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper Must have mistaken him for someone else, But his wife is having
none of it . She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, Calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The
cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real ***** this time.'

BOB's funeral will be on Friday

 

Before marriage.....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!





After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to the top.

 

Much / Mas / Manie / Fanie your constructive criticism of this bo???? floting hen house floating thing Its for sale or somthing

 

UmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMmmmMM (need zen inspiration here) do you guys celebrate "Guy Faux day"? (the day 5 nov) when the brits almost had their parliament and house blown up - literally.... - - - - What I am suggesting is something similar - but load it with Philemon's thieving family first and tow it out deep so all can enjoy the spectacle?

Deep roast long pig?

Oh I almost forgot, load the foredeck with lots of timber logs (buoyancy?)

 

i dont think i would let my chickens sleep in that thing,, i bet you throw a rock at it,, and the picture would be much smaller,,,hehe

 

Where's the other hull