Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

This guy was sitting at a bar being served a drink, when he looks to his right and gets the startle of his life. There sat an average build man with a tiny baseball sized head, knocking back shots of whiskey. He whispers to the barkeep,"What happend to him?". "Oh, the poor guy", said the barkeep, "his trouble all began when he found this bottle. He rubbed its side and out pops this drop-dead georgeous genie. This genie tells him she'll grant him three wishes. So for the first two he wished to live for eternity and be the richest man in the world". "That's what I would wish for", said the guy, "but what happened next?". "Well, only the biggest mistake of his life! He grabbed her **** and said, -- "now give me a little head!"

 

Wazup Butch!

 

Also depends on yoour nationality which jokes you find funny, and when! very much so!

 

Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!


fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it d seno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

 

If it's funny then it's funny. If it's not funny then it's not funny.

I know a couple of engineers... no sense of humor at all. Streight faced and always serious.

Mmmm... all injuns must be engineers then. Never saw a movie where any of them show emotion. We don't have injuns here, just philamons.

Is Jim still an injun or not

 

no,,,,,but i have been chased by a "few" hehe

 

A nervous wreck is a guys with a house payment, a wife and a girlfriend and they are all a month late

 

Fanie
I actually knew a fellow in this predicament. His girlfriend was his sister-in-law and his wife found out when he was visiting her and her sister while giving birth. By then the house payments were getting beyond his ability to pay so was selling the house.

A very tangled web. He also owned a boat that he entertained various mistresses from time to time. The boat went the same way as the house. Word around the yacht club was that he had entertained something like 9 different women over a couple years.

Rick W.

 

Extremely conservative... the 9 woman over some years. Nine a week sounds about like you're a buzy body

I think you must know how to handle these things eh ! Like the two rich guys and their wives eating out when this drop dead gorgeous two things came up to them and kissed the guys hello honey... see you later ?

The one wife immediately demanded a divorce apon which the guy replied sure, but if you devorce me there's no more Mercedes Benz sportscar, no tennis and hanging around the club, no more luxurious holidays, no more credit card for shopping...

Wife thinks for a bit, then replies.

Our's is prettier

 

you mean last week I couldn't spell injuneer this week is is one? sort of thing eh Jim?

 

Body builder seduces a girl to his flat (also a Texan ). Once there and starts to undress, he flexes and bulges his muscles one by one to impress the girl. Arms are 20 pound of dynamite, back is 40 pounds of dynamite, six-pack is ten pounds of dynamite, legs are 30 pounds of dynamite each... he takes his underpands off and the gir runs naked and screaming out of the building in hyterical flee.

Police stops her, what's wrong ma-am.

Officer, there are 120 pounds of dynamite and only a two inch fuse...

I used the old terms so the US guys also understand this

 

hahaha,,,,,well next time type slower,,,,i cant read very fast

 

What do you mean s l o w e r. I'm typing with my left hand thumb it's that slow.
Can't use something else... be a bit weird. Don't know if I can then reach the 2nd row keys...

 

He he...

Woman also accused a bunch of guys of graping her.
Grape ? Why do you say grape ?

Because there was more than one..

 

Odessa eh ! You have the same problem I have getting to water then. Bloody long stretch.

I was looking at some land sailors... a 3 wheeled flat cart with a sail on it.
You can tell I'm desperate to sail.

Everything on this checks out, no side drift, fast, safe, enjoyable, no sea sickness, just land sickness (Frosty)... but how the hell do you fish from this thing ?