A Head Turner From PAR

You have a decided advantage as a residential builder, even if it was the non-floating type. Where novice builders go wrong is calculating time and materials, plus mistakes. The fabrication aspects you'll handle with far fewer mistakes, just because you're experienced. You'll also have a distinct advantage when it comes to factoring in time and materials, again because you've done this many times previously. You know how to "process" through a job and this will not be any different in that regard. The work will be a little different, just because the shapes are new to you, but it's the same skill sets that you'll employ. The odds of you completing this project are much higher than the average builder taking on a project like Egress.

 

I think so, too. Of course that's assuming the wife doesn't kill me....which could put a serious crimp in my tentative launch date.

 

She'll come around, once you two stop pushing each others buttons, just because you can, it's easy and usually kind of fun. She knows how bad you want this thing.

I recently sent a set of plans to a buddy. He and I have been working on his dream yacht for about 3 years. It's not his first build, in fact he's building a dinghy for the gal now. The other half has all but had it, even though she's not hurting any with materials purchases or his time away from the house. She's nervous, with the economy the way it is and understandably. Knowing this, him and his wife, I placed a new company name on the shipping tube "PAR's Septic & Cistern Supply Company", (no kidding) which I assumed would throw her off track enough to get him out of hot water when the mail came. Had she seen the usual label I use, she'd have been waiting for him at the door with a pitch fork.

It's nice to have friends . . .

I often talk about accruing spontaneous nookie credits. This is probably one of the most important things a guy can do in a relationship. You see, nookie credits can be redeemed for non-nookie related things. I like to have a stock pile, just in case, because I know me and I usually need them for something or another. A healthy back log of yet cashed nookie credits, can make them "understand" more readily, especially if she was spontaneously (or surprisingly) awarded the need to deposit more credits in your account.

A good boat builder is a clever and devious cuss when necessary, in all matters not just boat building.

 

Concur

 

It's interesting you didn't comment on the use of spontaneous nookie credits, as passive extortion with boat building projects, John.

 

Just get the transom done, flip it and paint it. Then add the name
"MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE" She will now sign endentured sevitude papers if you want.

 

I'm actually pretty good at not pushing her buttons, Paul. I learned where most of them are years ago and generally avoid them, following the ancient truism that if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

But I've been mulling over her irrational over-reaction to pulling a little cash out of the house -- even though it only restarts the clock at 30 years instead of 28, and actually lowers our monthly payments. All she sees is the extra few thousand in debt, period.

What I've decided is that me going into the hospital a couple of years ago with a DVT and a pulmonary thrombosis rattled her more than I realized. It made her contemplate what she'd be facing if she lost me (and my income). Although it didn't really register at the time, one of the things she threw at me the other day was, "...and what if you up and die on me before it's done?!? What am I supposed to do with a half-built boat?!??"

Indentured servitude papers? Don't hold your breath. But although it isn't a cure-all, I have to admit that's some very good advice.

Paul, you may have to go back and do some editing. I know it's short notice, but could I get you to email me another copy of the beautifully rendered, full-color profile in the finished plans, with 'Cindy Lou' replacing 'Egress' as the boat name? I told her I'd come by day after tomorrow, and it would be nice to have that ace up my sleeve.

 

Well, Paul sent me a gorgeous drawing of the boat with its new name -- and Cindy never saw it. We didn't get that far. In spite of having said she wanted to talk it over because she had some new thoughts on the subject, when I got there she just hit me broadside with the same demand: put the boat on hold until I can pay for it by selling some of the Arizona property I've owned since before we got married, even if it takes ten years.

If she really did have any new thoughts, apparently she thought twice and decided to declare war instead. A shame; I guess I'll have to come up with a plan B that doesn't include her.

 

The wife hasn't simmered down any on the subject. I'm a little baffled by her over-the-top hysterical opposition, and her refusal to even discuss the subject rationally -- and frankly, I'm rapidly reaching the point where I don't give a damn. I'm running out of patience and tact.

We have credit card accounts right now that could absorb another ten or fifteen thousand dollars without even blinking. But since I've let her pay the bills for twenty years, I'd have to get into her purse and swipe her cards; I'm not even completely sure how many there or who they're with. And aside from not wanting to pay credit card interest rates, I also have at least a little dignity....

So it looks like I'll be going to my credit union and a couple of other sources, and seeing what kind of a signature loan I can get. If it's enough to pay for the initial lumber and plywood order, plus the cost of raising a bow roof shed after the hull is built and turned over, I'll sign on the dotted line and Cindy can go to Hell. Otherwise, I'm simply going to keep volunteering for overtime shifts and start stashing the cash for the next few months, and tuning her out while she carries on about it.... come springtime I should be able to get started on the build.

I realize that isn't the way to accumulate nookie credits, Paul. But Cindy seems to have forgotten that it's my money she's handling -- or at least ours, as opposed to hers. I suppose I've spoiled her over the years, but I'm afraid she's about to get a reality check....

 

May I suggest your first step in giving your wife a reality check would be to pay all the bills with her. You will know what is going where and gain control at the same time. It's a basic training technique, setting boundaries and establishing the hierarchy. There is a good chance she will appreciate your involvement.
I hate paying bills and have let both wives take care of it though this time I know where it goes. When things went sour with the first one and I took over there some... surprises, shall we say.

 

OK, I can check off step one: I have the money for the build. It's going into a separate checking account, where it won't get commingled and dribbled away in my regular finances....

Step 2: I need to enclose the 12'x42' carport/patio on the back of the mobile home where my parents stayed, after they moved out here to live with us. Instead of putting the mobile up for rent after they passed away, my wife promptly filled it with everything from furniture to books and old clothes; she's never seen a space she couldn't fill with junk.

Anyway, I'm planning to enclose the patio with plywood siding and add big doors at one end. Then I'll lay a leveled 1/2" plywood floor over the concrete slab, and start lofting directly on the floor. That will allow me to start building and stacking the hull frames.

Gonna be a slow start. This is the time of year everyone likes to go on vacation, which means I'll be filling in for the other operators a lot, and I'll be gone a lot more than I'll be home. But it's a start.

 

Hey Troy, My heart goes out to you man. I just read the last few pages of this thread, and I understand a lot of what you are going through. I hope you can keep up good relations with your wife though, it is much more difficult to cope with the ups and downs without a wife's moral support. I hope that she will eventually see that you HAVE to build this boat, or at least try, because you have to be yourself, and express yourself in this way. And everyone simply must be theirself and nobody else.

And since you are already a builder, I am sure you understand that it is the act of building, the art of the creation of something material, or the transformation of something from an existence as an idea into something physical, that is as important to you as the final product, which will never really be final anyway. The boat already exists, you simply have to fill in the spaces with stuff. And you can, and the money part is merely detail.

I wish you much success! Post many pictures please.

 

Thanks, Charly. As soon as I get started, I'll probably start a new thread just for the build (with a link to this one for the curious). And I plan to take lots of pictures.

 

There is no boat that would stand in the way of reconciliation with my girl.

She did what I said and left me once, man did I make a mistake.

With out her I am nothing. Ille do everything she wants. Ide take a grenade for her.

 

I'd probably take a grenade for mine, too. But that doesn't mean I'll take orders from her.

I generally let her do or have whatever she wants without even questioning it, and I think it's time she returned the favor a little....

But the boat will stay renamed Cindy Lou, regardless.