Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

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Next is as far as I know no joke, although the first one made me think so...​

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‘‘ These ‘Meta-Perceptual Helmets’ give humans the opportunity to experience the hyper-stereo vision of the hammerhead shark. Its wide set eyes allow the shark to see 360 degrees, which enables it to hunt prey such as squid that are able to propel themselves swiftly in any direction. ’’​

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‘‘ While the hammerhead shark has a large blind spot in the centre of its field of vision - in front of its head – it solves this by swinging its head form side-to-side as it swims, so it has a clear view all around itself, including above and below. ’’​

 

P47Thunderbolt had the same problem when taxiing.

 

Not with sight, but with shooting I think, I've just looked into the 1945 USAAF Fighter Gun Harmonization manual.

The P-47 is on the pages 34 & 35 there. Note; in the E version these are the pages 37 & 38, since the cover and the foreword pages are counted just like the other pages in this E version of the manual.

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Note, as the top and bottom of these pages say, this is all restricted info, so from now on never ever link to the Boat Jokes Thread again . .

 

While I was reading the above 1945 USAAF manual I've missed your post update that says the post is about taxiing, i.e. not flying, and so I've also missed the added video (thanks for that ). So your update kinda cross posted with my above post.

Yes, when taxiing the P-47 suffers from the Hammerhead dead spot also with sight, since they're sitting so far behind the upward pointing nose.

The ‘‘Hammerhead shooting dead spot’’ (no shooting right in front of mid center of the nose) ranges up to max 800' (244 m) according to the above pictured gun harmonization charts.

To enhance this they'll need an extra gun that shoots through the prop.

 

Like e.g. on the P-39Q, the below shown page 32 comes from the same above USAAF manual . . .​

Note, as it says this is still USAAF restricted info, so don't tell anyone you saw it, if you're not authorised . . ​

Below a page from the Pilot's Flight Operating Instructions Bell P-39K-1 and P39L-1, which is the closest I've found in a quick search for the P-39Q internal and her gun set up, consisting of a 37 mm (1.46") Oldsmobile T9 cannon firing through the center of the prop hub for optimum accuracy and stability when firing, and above the T9 cannon, also in top view center a .50 machine gun shooting through the prop, and further half way in each wing a .30 machine gun. With the T9 cannon she could take out a tank of that time by shooting through the tank's armor.

 

Started a thread called "Chutzpah" on another forum and a guy posted this joke....

Yossi and Yitzhak are on a train across Poland, each on his way to meet a prospective bride on the other side of the country.

Halfway there, Yitzhak turns to Yossi and says, "Forget about this whole marriage thing. I just don't like the idea."

So he gets off at the next stop and makes his way back home.

Meanwhile, Yossi continues on and is met at the final destination by the mothers of the two prospective brides.

When the mothers realize what has happened, they instantly begin to fight over whose daughter should wed this precious little boychik.

"He's mine!" cries one.

"Not on your life," cries the other, "He will marry my daughter!"

After bickering for a while, Yossi and the two mothers decide to go the rebbe and ask him to resolve the situation. In the grand tradition of the ancients, the rebbe replies, "Well, there is only one solution to this problem. Cut the boy in half, and you each take half home with you."

At this, the first mother looks shocked, while the second mother grins and cries emphatically, "Yah! Cut him in half!!"

The rebbe points to the second mother and says, "THAT is the real mother-in-law. Case closed."

 

So Yossi married the second daughter, and they lived happily ever after . . .​

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If he didn't want to end up missing any pieces he sure did.

 

A man was walking along through the city park when he noticed two men, in city uniforms, with shovels.

One man was digging a hole and a few feet behind him the second man was filling in a freshly dug hole.

The second man then waited til l the first had finished digging and, having moved a few feet on, was now digging a third hole, at which point the second started to fill in the just finished hole.

The pedestrian was outraged! Was this how the city park board was spending his tax dollars?

Boldly he approached the pair and demanded to know why they were wasting tax dollars on make work.

"What do you mean?" the first man asked.

"I mean you are digging a hole and the other guy is filling it in."

The second man shook his head in disgust: "Sir, Jimmy, the guy that normally plants the bushes with us, is sick with the crud. Now, if you'll move along Ted and I have got to do our jobs!"

 

An important and very well publicized murder trial was soon to begin. In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process took place, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors.

One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question session.

He was asked, "Property holder?"

Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor."

Then he was asked, "Married or single?"

Dan responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor."

Then the judge asked, "Have you formed or expressed an opinion?"

Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."

 

How to Tie a Gordian Knot

Take one (1) stereo earbuds with long cord.

Place in your pocket.

Do not remove for at least 10 minutes.

-fin-

 

The Coming Civil War over Pineapple on Pizza

A divided nation debates whether or not pineapple is an appropriate topping for pizza | Daily Mail Online http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5669281/A-divided-nation-debates-not-pineapple-appropriate-topping-pizza.html

 

1984 Miller joke . . . ​

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WHOREHOUSE SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!



What an interesting turn of events in Pahrump, Nevada…

Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business.

In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand re-opening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the brothel burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer.”

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church ". . . was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means.”

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and vociferously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented:

"I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bull ****."